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loved him.
    Because she was a smart woman.
    Now everything was all messed up. Ash already moved on and forgot about me, and now I missed my chance. I told him nothing would ever happen between us and he believed me.
    This sucked.
    I thought about taking my grandmother’s advice and fighting for him, but I was so scared to be rejected. I denied him so harshly and I wouldn’t blame him for doing the same to me. I hurt him, and I deserved to be hurt in returned.
    I didn’t see him for the next few days. He seemed to be busy with school. I constantly looked out my peephole, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. But even if I did, I didn’t know if I would have the strength to talk to him. We hadn’t spoke once since I found out he was dating my sister.
    Maybe he was avoiding me.
    I hadn’t checked my mail in a few days so I walked into the lobby, wondering if my check from the gallery came in. I needed new supplies but didn’t have the money in my account to buy them.
    When I walked to my mailbox, I spotted Ash. He was checking his mail, throwing away all the junk and the ads. His bag was over his shoulder, and his stethoscope was hanging out. He wore dark jeans and a black t-shirt, making his features stand out.
    I froze, suddenly unsure what to do. He hadn’t seen me yet so I could escape without being spotted.
    Like he could read my mind, he glanced my way. “Hey. Haven’t seen you in a while.” He went back to checking his mail.
    “Yeah…” I walked to my mailbox besides his and opened it. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweating. Being so close to him made the butterflies in my stomach grow into fire-breathing dragons.
    “How’s it going?” He looked at a pizza ad then threw it in the recycling bin.
    “Good…” Not really. “You?”
    “Fine.” He opened a letter and scanned through it. Then he tossed it in the garbage. “Junk mail…”
    I grabbed mine then felt my hands shake. Was he not going to bring up Payton? We’re just going to pretend everything was normal? Like this wasn’t awkward?
    He shut his mailbox then locked it. “I’ll see you later.” He stuffed his mail under one arm then walked away.
    That’s it? It was like nothing happened between us.
    I turned around and stared at his back. “So, you’re just going to fool around with my sister and not even mention it to me?” The anger seeped out. I didn’t realize how upset I was until that moment.
    He stopped then slowly turned around. “She told me you were fine with it.” His eyes were guarded and his face was unreadable.
    “Well…yeah…but I can’t believe you would even want to date her.”
    “She’s a beautiful girl and she’s fun.” He shrugged. “And if you don’t care, then what’s the big deal?”
    “It is a big deal!” I felt the tears burn under my eyes. “You claim that you care about me and want me to yourself but then you date my sister? It’s like nothing ever happened between us. It’s like you don’t care.”
    His voice never changed. He stayed calm the entire time. “You told me nothing would ever happen between us. And you said I shouldn’t wait for you. So, what was I supposed to do, Alaska?”
    “I…I don’t know.” Now I felt like an idiot. I just wanted to hide under a rock.
    He stepped closer to me. “Do you want me to stop seeing your sister?” He watched my face, gauging my reaction. “Because I will if that’s what you want.”
    Could I be that selfish? “Do you like her…?”
    “I think that’s obvious.”
    His words ripped my heart apart. “I just…I don’t know.”
    “What do you want?” His voice was more aggressive.
    “I…no, I don’t want you to date her.”
    “Then consider it done.” He rested his arms by his sides.
    “Thank you.” I held my tears back.
    “Anything else?” he asked. Now he seemed annoyed. “Anyone else I can’t date? You don’t want me but no one else can have me? What are you? Five?”
    My eyes widened. “I never said I