explained, “A
while back, when I was at their house, I saw this book lying on the kitchen
counter. It caught my attention, so I thumbed through it. It was about teaching
your kids to not have sex before marriage.”
“Okay.” She leaned in further, waiting
for me to tell her more.
“It also promoted homeschooling, keeping
your children safe from the outside world, preparing your daughters to be
homemakers, and instilling no dating, no kissing, no touching…”
“What the hell? No one can shelter their
kids to that extent, unless they are trying to raise a priest or something.”
I stared at the picture of me with my
family on my desk. “Well, that’s what my parents have tried to do to me and
Luke. That’s why I’m sick of this. I can’t live like this any longer.” It was
clear why they wanted me to be a teacher. They had my life completely planned
for me and I hated them for that.
“Shit. I just thought your parents were
really overprotective.”
“Yeah, me too. I kind of understand
where Collin’s coming from when he tells me he has to abide by his father’s
wishes and remain a virgin until marriage.”
“Oh, hell no,” she pulled the band out
of her hair, “that wouldn’t work for me.”
I sighed. “I know! It’s not working for
me either. I need that level of intimacy with him.”
“I don’t know how you’ve lasted this
long.” She worked the tangles out of her hair. “I have to take a test drive.
You know… make sure I can shift his gears and ensure he knows how to put the
pedal to the metal.”
“Laney, TMI!”
“Sorry, but if he can’t make me scream,
there’s no point.”
“Lalalala.” I placed my hands over my
ears. “I can’t hear you.”
She pulled my hands away. “Stop, you’re
acting like a child.”
“Well, I don’t want to know how you like
it. It was bad enough that I had to hear you the other night.”
“Oh my God, no you didn’t.” Her face
turned beet red.
“Yes, I did.”
“But my room’s on the other side of the
living room,” she reasoned, confusion spreading across her face.
“You’re quite loud and these walls are
paper thin,” I reminded her.
“Sorry.” Her voice lilted a plea of
forgiveness. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what did you expect? Collin’s
a preacher’s son.” She quickly averted, focusing on my dilemma.
I lifted my feet to the bed, resting my
chin against my knees. “I know, but aren’t they supposed to be the worst ones?”
“Well, let me put it this way, the ones
I knew back home weren’t virgins. I can tell you from first-hand experience.”
“Oh, Laney, why couldn’t my life have been
more like yours?”
She sprung up. “Wait a minute — you have
no idea what you’re wishing for. My life was far from good.”
“Yeah, but it beats being kept under
lock and key and deprived of enjoying life.”
“Maybe, but…” She popped the band around
her wrist a few times. “Never mind. I don’t want to talk about my life right
now. This is about you.” Delaney always avoided sharing details about her
childhood. All I knew was that her parents had died when she was young. Her
pain and hurt was obvious, even after many years.
I let out another big sigh. “I’m just so
confused. I don’t know what to do.”
She raised a brow. “What’s your gut
telling you to do?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” My throat tightened,
refusing to speak the truth.
She continued popping the rubber band
and even though it agitated me, I figured it was a way for her to self soothe,
so I didn’t say anything. “Don’t stop, keep going. It’s good to get this out in
the open.”
“I-I don’t know if I should marry
Collin.”
“Whoa!” The rubber band snapped in half,
flying in two separate directions. “Are you sure about that?”
Thoughts ravaged my mind. I wasn’t sure
of anything at that point. “I don’t know, I just… ugh! I feel like I need
something, anything to prove to me that he loves
Diane Moody, Hannah Schmitt