kids teased her and called her Four Eyes.
Other kids looked at her with pity just because she was handicapped, and she didnât have a mommy.
She didnât want them to feel sorry for her. She did want a mommy though.
She clicked on the keyboard, brought up her journal and began to type.
Â
Mommy, I know youâre out there somewhere. I prayed that you would find me on Motherâs Day but thatâs passed, so maybe you will on my birthday.
I donât like it here. The house is dark and dusty. And Mama Reese says her knees hurt too much to play with me outside. Papa Reeseâs cigarettes make my eyes itchy and watery and then I cough, and then he tells me to shut up. They donât like my singing either.
I have to sing though. I dream sometimes thatyouâre looking for me. That you didnât just leave me. That we just got losted from each other, and that you can hear me. That one day youâll follow my voice and come and get me.
Â
She swiped at a tear running down her cheek. Crying was for babies but sometimes she couldnât help it. Sniffling and swallowing to hold back more tears, she finished the journal entry.
Â
I know I look kind of dorky, and Iâm little for my age, and I canât run like the other kids. And one of my eyes looks funny because I canât see out of it, but I take my medicine every day so I donât have the seizures anymore.
Iâm getting better in school, too. Iâm only a year behind. Iâve been practicing my writing, and I can almost make the letters right now. I can pour my own cereal and make my own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And I donât mind wearing hand-me-downs if you donât have much money.
Please come and get me, Mommy. I promise not to be any trouble.
Â
She saved her entry, then pulled on her pjâs and crawled in bed. Then she closed her eyes and prayed her mommy would hear her this time and come to get her as she began to singâ¦.
Chapter Four
Slade let himself into the fixer-upper house heâd purchased on the side of the mountain. The wooden two-story needed painting, a new roof, the wood floors needed to be stripped and restained and boards needed replacing on the wraparound porch.
Heâd thought doing the work himself would be cathartic, but heâd yet to change a thing. Still, the place had character and at one time was probably a cozy home for some family.
He scoffed. As a kid, heâd dreamed about having a home like this. Now it didnât seem to matter.
But the place was isolated and offered him privacy, as well as an abundance of wide-open mountain air. Something heâd desperately needed after Iraq and the place heâd been kept when heâd been taken prisoner. Cramped, dark, filthy, bug-infested, the stench, the human wastesâ¦
And the blood from the soldiers whoâd died trying to save him.
He inhaled a deep, calming breath, the summer air filling his nostrils with the scent of honeysuckle andwildflowers, chasing away the demons from his past. He had a job to do now, and heâd focus on that. Get through the day.
One hour at a time.
He spotted the bottle of whiskey on the counter, and the temptation to reach for it, to pour himself a mind-numbing shot seized him. Just one drink to erase the images in his head.
No⦠He was done burying his pain. Heâd have to learn to live with it or it would destroy him. Then he couldnât atone for his sins.
Instead, he strode to the workout room heâd created off the garage, yanked on boxing gloves and began to pound his punching bag. The faces of his bleeding and dying men haunted him, and he hit the bag harder, the rage eating his soul, chipping away at his sanity.
He had to learn to control it. Focus. Forget.
No, he couldnât forget. Forgetting would mean dishonoring the sacrifices theyâd made.
He wished to hell theyâd just left him to die and saved themselves.
And their