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up with me, I can give you a good life, too.”
    “No, Jimmy wouldn’t,” I said.
    “Jimmy did,” Lamar said. “There’s something Jimmy owed me that’s still missing. I want you to find it.”
    “Uh-huh,” I said. What was I going to say, no? I didn’t want to get killed right there.
    Lamar kept talking, and I kept giving Gus looks like death rays. I couldn’t believe a friend could do this to me.
    I guess I was wrong.
    He’s not my friend.
    Gangbangers don’t really have friends, even though they call each other family.
    I took a step back and saw the back of the car.
    Red cloth, held with electrical tape, covered the taillight closest to me. I remembered the taillights the night Jimmy was shot. Different colors. One red, one orange. Blurring as the car disappeared into the night.
    The truth hit me like a bullet. They had killed Jimmy. Not someone in the black Chevy like Gusand Lamar wanted me to believe. Why would they kill Jimmy if he was their ace man? Why did they want me to think a rival gang killed Jimmy? Did they want me to think it was the guys in the black Chevy, just so I’d join up with them? That was crazy. Except if what Jimmy had was really important and they needed me to find it for them. But what could Jimmy have had that I wouldn’t know about? I couldn’t stop staring at those taillights.
    Lamar put his heavy hand on my neck and squeezed. “What you looking at?”

16
    “ I was thinking about Jimmy,” I said. “What did Jimmy owe you?”
    His hand dropped away.
    “Go home to your momma, baby boy,” Lamar said. “If you don’t know what Jimmy owed me, then you’re dumber than you look.”
    He made some motion with his hand, and they all got into the car, Gus included.
    Gus stepped around me like I wasn’t there anymore.
    The car pulled away, and only then did I realize how scared I had been. My palms were wet and I could feel my heart beating in my head.
    At home I took Spider into the house. Mina was asleep on the floor under my window. I carried her back to her bed.
    Spider jumped up, circled twice, and curlednext to Mina, resting his head against her.
    I crawled into my bed, but I knew I wasn’t going to sleep.
    They said they weren’t the ones who killed Jimmy. They lied to me, so how could I trust anything they said? Even Gus lied to me. Did Jimmy really sell drugs?
    I didn’t think he could have. Jimmy told me it was hopeless if you joined a gang. Rivals did drive-by shootings at your house, and you always lived in fear.
    The next day after school, I rode the Metro downtown with Mom. She was going to get Jimmy’s last paycheck. She went into the restaurant and came out with an odd look on her face.
    “The man said Jimmy never worked here.”
    “Maybe he forgot,” I said.
    “I asked the other busboys,” she said. “No one knew him.”
    “Maybe Jimmy did belong to a gang,” I said.
    But she didn’t want to hear it.
    “I went to the wrong restaurant,” Mom said. “I don’t know this city very well.”
    “You’re right, Mom,” I said. “It’s probably another restaurant where Jimmy worked.”
    I agreed with her even though I didn’t believe it anymore. I didn’t see why I should ruin Mom’s memory of Jimmy.
    I leaned back and rested my head next to the window as the Metro banged over the rails. I’d have to figure out something on my own if my family was going to have any kind of future.
    I thought about the gun again. There had to be another way. Lamar was right about one thing. I didn’t want to end up like Jimmy.
    I opened my eyes and looked at Mom. She was staring straight ahead. She didn’t need another funeral either.
    When we got home, Mom and Mrs. Washington cooked dinner. Mrs. Washington made a carrot salad, and Mom scrambled cheese into eggs and made hot biscuits filled with sliced bananas and topped with mayonnaise.
    I ate too much and then got mad at myself for thinking about food when there was so much else going on.
    I sat on my bed