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for the night. Occasionally I passed a pedestrian and had to fight the urge to stop to warn them.
    I was panicked and could barely manage to yell out the window at them, the words that did get out were not very intelligible. Some responded with a vulgar slur or a raised middle finger. I kept driving towards my kids, the car tires barked around every curve until I reached the street Amanda lived on.
    Ahead of me was her house, which we had bought a number of years earlier together. My youngest son was raised in that house and now she lived there with her revolving boyfriends and the kids half of the time.
    The day after she kicked me out, she cleaned out our room and boxed up my things. she was through with me and I was so devastated at that I couldn't breath. I felt like I was standing on a rolling ship and it was sinking beneath my feet.
         I pulled up to the house and could see that her truck was gone.
    “ Christ where could she be and where are the kids? ” I was yelling out loud now. Frantically I pulled my cell phone out and dialed her phone number, but all I got was a 'NETWORK ERROR ” .
    “ Shit! ” I said, still yelling. If communications were down already it was likely it wasn’t just happening here .
    I looked at the house, tense, and my eyes began to water. I didn't know if I was going to cry or scream. I saw movement in the house through the dinning room window.
    H er current live in boyfriend was at the house . I ran across the porch and pounded my fist on the door. I t slowly opened to reveal a very drunk man in his gym shorts.
    “ What the hell do you want? ” Jaime, her latest conquest, was a 40 year old, balding, 6 foot tall, unemployed carpenter.
    “ Where the hell are the kids? ” I demanded rather loudly. I was trying to contain my self.
    “ Hmf ” Jaime groaned “ she took them to her sisters. She got all pissed off at me and took off.” he looked at me through blurry, bloodshot eyes. “What the hell is the matter with that ex old lady of yours?”
    “Shes a crazy, self serving bitch!” I snapped at him. “why the fuck are you asking me? Why don't you get out of my fucking house and stop living off the support payments I'm giving her.” I was mad. “You fucking leach”.
    “Okay, dude. Shit calm down” He straightened up. “ Shes been gone for days ” .
    “ Thank god ” I said
    “ Why whats going on? ” Jaime asked.
    I though for a second about telling him, but in a flash of rage decided against it. I smiled, looking at Jaime.
    I said, “ Nothing dude, just wanted to give the kids some books. ”
    I turned and ran for the car. As I sped off I thought about how terrible it was that I had left Amanda ’ s boyfriend to die. I n the end I felt justified and even felt a little good about getting some revenge after having lost everything. E ven if it was at that poor bastards expense. I felt good in a sort of evil villain sort of way. Even if it was cruel and momentary, but I took it and rode the feeling as long as I could.
         I headed east, now knowing the kids were probably safe for the time being. If she had been gone for days then she was  probably not still on the road. H er sister lived in a more isolated place than we lived. M aybe they would be safe for the time being.
    I decided to find them. they were in the S ierras, in L ake Tahoe city. T hat is where I was going. I drove E ast to highway 395 then headed north.
    The drive would be long. It was dark now and I expected it would take most of the night to drive the full distance. I settled in for the long trip . I pulled out an IPod and scanned the list of artists looking for something soothing that would calm my nerves and push the racing thoughts out of my mind.
    I believed the kids were safe, I stopped thinking about anything specific and let my mind clear. Images began to flow through my head as the road stretched out in front of me into the distance.
    I thought of a woman. When I was unnerved I would