come, but I want to stay inside of her like this forever. I know I’m getting close,
but she’s not.
“What do you need?”
“N-nothing.”
“You’re not coming,
so obviously you need something else from me. Tell me.”
“I already came. I
probably just can’t do it again so soon. Go ahead.”
Dammit. I know she’s
lying, but I’m too close to just stop. I thrust hard a few more
times, and then I’m coming with a force I’ve never experienced
before in my life. I know part of it is because I was bare, but
mostly it’s her. She’s just it for me.
I kiss her lightly on
the mouth, and then go to clean up. I bring back a washcloth for her,
but she’s already on her side, curled into herself. There’s no
room to sit next to her on the bed in front of her, so I sit at the
bottom end and reach for her legs.
“Don’t. I mean, you
don’t have to do that.”
“I want to clean you
up.”
“I can take care of
myself.”
“Please let me do
this for you.”
“No. I just want to
sleep. You can have any of the guest rooms.”
What? “I was planning
to sleep in here with you.”
“I can’t.”
I hear her voice crack,
and my heart cracks along with it. I reach out and pull her to me,
but she resists. “Jade?”
“Let me go. I’m not
allowed to push you away, so please let me go.”
Shit. I let her go
immediately. “Did you want to push me away when we were…I mean,
God. Did you not want that?”
“I wanted it, but it
was really hard, Nate. Not touching you, or kissing you.”
“You could’ve
kissed me.”
“I would’ve had to
touch you in order to bring your mouth to me.”
“You can ask.”
“I shouldn’t have
to.”
No. She shouldn’t.
She doesn’t have
to. “And now you want me to go.”
“No. I want you to
stay and cuddle with me, but if I can’t touch you, how is that even
possible? And what if I accidentally touch you in my sleep? Will that
hurt you? Because I don’t want to hurt you.”
I hurt her, yet she’s
thinking about me. Just like she always has. This time when I pull
her to me, she doesn’t struggle, but she does remain stiff in my
arms.
“You can touch me,
Jade. Wherever you want, however you want. I’m so, so sorry that I
didn’t let you before. I wanted our first time to be amazing for
you, and instead it sucked because of my fucked-up issues.”
“Yeah, it did. But
now it can only get better, right?” she asks, as she runs her hands
over my chest.
“You’re not
supposed to be making me feel better right after I hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt
me. I mean you did, but not exactly in the way you mean. I don’t
have to touch you all the time. It’s just hard to be in the moment
when you’re worrying about doing something wrong.”
“Nothing you could do
to me would be wrong. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m
fucked up beyond belief, but that has nothing to do with you.”
And it really doesn’t.
She’s been running her fingers over my pecs, ribs, and abs while we
talk, and I haven’t flinched once. Having her touching me feels really good. I should’ve known it would be
different; she’s not like the women from my past. She sees past my
body to the guy who’s trying to hide inside of himself.
“You’re sure this
is okay?”
“It’s perfect.
You’re perfect. Now let me clean you up so we can cuddle all night
before I ravage you again.”
“If I don’t ravage
you first.”
“Please do.”
Chapter 4
Jade
I’m wrapped in Nate’s
arms when I wake up, and I couldn’t be happier. Until I realize
that the sun’s streaming in the windows. Shit. I need to close the
blackout drapes before I see anything I’m not supposed to. He’s
letting me touch, but he didn’t say I could look yet.
I squirm out of his
embrace, and am halfway off the bed, when a strong set of arms pulls
me back. “Unless you have to pee really bad, you better not be
trying to get out of this bed. I don’t even care if you’ve got
dragon grade