sudden appearance and disappearance. I listen to the sound of his bike, fading into the distance. Once the sound of the bike is gone, I went upstairs to check on Toby, who was snuggled under his covers, his arms wrapped tightly round the last gift he had received from Carl. Toby and the tiger were never separated. Even when he went to school, he had the animal stuffed in the bottom of his bag. Next, I went back to my room. For someone so small, Amelia, somehow, managed to take up most of the bed, her tiny body, sprawled across the mattress, her head buried in my pillow.
On the bedside cabinet, stood my wedding photograph, Carl and I are both happy, looking forward to spending the rest of our days together. With a sense of finality, instead of placing the photograph back in its original spot, I put it away in the top draw. Carl was no longer here, and it was time for me to get on with my life. Unobtrusively, I rubbed my thumb over the back of my wedding band, as the front rubbed against my lips. As carefully as I could, I climbed back into the bed, doing my best not to disturb my daughter. I wasn’t ready to remove my ring. Not yet.
DCMC
“Ellie, one of those bikers was here again the other night. Was it Nick?”
Eliza, Carl’s mother had called round to collect Toby and Amelia, who was spending the weekend with her, while I went to New Orleans. How she knew about Nick’s visit was any ones guess. However, more than likely one of my neighbors had probably heard his bike and my money, was on Mr. Carmichaels, a retired teacher and a friend of Eliza’s
“It was.”
“Do you think you should be receiving male visitors, late at night Ellie?”
With all the strength that I have, I bite my tongue. Not wanting to lash out at my mother in-law.
“I’m a woman Eliza, with a woman’s needs. Carl is dead and has been for two years. I, however, am not. And I refuse to deny myself male company.”
The hurt and pain which passes across Eliza’s dark eyes, has me regretting my outburst. I may have lost a husband, but she’s lost a son. About to apologize, I stop what I am about to say, as I listen to Eliza tear strips into me.
“I can see that, Ellie. You’ve taken all the photographs of Carl down. There’s not one in sight. While you are bed hopping with those bikers, Carl means nothing to you. He laid down his life for the country. And what about the children? Have you thought about them? How will they remember their father?”
“I’m not bed hopping Eliza. Yes I’m sleeping with Nick. I’m twenty seven and I refuse to give up on male companionship, just because you did when James died. The children will remember their father, simply because they have photos in their rooms, albums and films to watch. I will never deny my children, their father. Now get a civil tongue in your head. Or this weekend could be your last for a while?”
With a glare in my direction, Eliza picked up her coffee mug and took a sip, watching me, as I finished gathering my stuff for the weekend.
“You have my number. Ring me if there’s any problems.”
DCMC
“Everything okay, Ellie?”
Ivy had arrived just before everyone had left. Her overnight bag in one hand, while she held a carry out coffee in the other.
“Very cosmopolitan Ivy.”
“Shut up. Oh and as the only childless female this weekend. I’m banning all talk of children and sidestepping the issue will not solve the problem.”
“There isn’t one. Look, there’s Rayven’s SUV. It’s time to go and have some fun.”
Chapter 5
Ivy may have put a ban on baby talk. This, however, did not prevent the others from answering their cells, when their Old Men rang. Mine was noticeably quiet from Nick. Shit, Dec, had even rung Ivy, and when the call was over, Ivy had switched the cell off with a disgruntled moan, and thrown it onto the bed, in the room we were sharing. Cassie, who, after much arguing with Linc, had