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ghostly pale and he’s shaking his head as if not quite believing something.
    ‘What is it?’ I ask concerned. ‘What’s happened?’
    ‘Hugh’s had a heart attack.’
    ‘Oh no!’ I say automatically. ‘That’s terrible.’ Then I pause. ‘Who the hell’s Hugh?’
    ‘Young feller in the office. Fit as a fiddle. Mid-thirties at most. Plays squash most weekdays, cricket at weekends.’
    ‘Go on.’
    ‘Ran most evenings. Swam early mornings.’
    ‘I didn’t mean go on, tell me about his whole fitness regime.’ I stifle a giggle and attempt to downturn my mouth. Not that I’m callously indifferent to Declan’s unknown workmate but tragic situations often have that effect on me. A nervous reaction, defective brain wiring maybe, but it’s horribly embarrassing. I remember once eyes streaming with laughter as one of my friends told me the sad story of how her father died by a lightning-struck tree falling on him and I was feeling really sympathetic, I swear I was. ‘I meant, go on, what happened?’ I wheeze, trying to compose my face.
    He rubs a hand through his hair. ‘According to Mike he collapsed out jogging a couple of hours ago. Heart attack. They took him to the Whittington Hospital.’
    ‘He’ll be all right,’ I console.
    ‘It sounded pretty desperate. Intensive care.’
    I hesitate as I look at his sad face. ‘Maybe I should stay in this evening?’
    ‘No, no. Go out, enjoy yourself,’ he insists. ‘Not like there’s anything you can do. I need to make some calls.’
    ***
    I hustle the children into their baths and prepare them for bed. Josh wants me to read him the
Nine Armed Mutant from Mars
again while Sophie’s hiding the
Beano
behind a maths book. I’ll take on Josh first.
    ‘Come on. Into bed.’
    ‘Won’t be a sec.’ Josh reaches up to adjust the temperature gauge for his vivarium. ‘I have to dust the crickets.’
    Oh God, not again. He has to sprinkle this calcium powder on these poor little crickets so Lizzie, his pet gecko, absorbs enough nutrients. Kind of like seasoning.
    After I finish the book I pull up his duvet and tuck it around him. ‘Now, Mr Head in the Bed, I want you to shut your eyes and think lovely thoughts.’
    ‘Are you going out, Mummy?’
    ‘Yes, I am, my precious one.’ I sneak his teddy bear next to him which he pretends not to notice. ‘See you in the morning.’
    ‘Is it your ATMs meeting?’
    ‘TTMs,’ I correct making Teddy kiss his little pink ear. ‘ATMs are cash machines. While TTMs are my mothers’ restaurant research group. But they’re not called TTMs anymore, because we changed Tuesdays to Wednesdays and it’s once a week instead of twice a month. Now, enough.’ I gently pinch his warm left cheek. ‘Sleep tight.’
    As I leave the bedroom, eyes averted from the sight of the gecko staring greedily at his walking grub, I can hear Declan mumbling on the phone upstairs. I do feel a mite guilty going off to meet the girls, but he was adamant, wasn’t he? And after all, it’s not like Hugh’s dead or anything, is it?

Chapter 4
    ‘Men. Can’t live with them.’ Janet spits out an olive pip.
    ‘Can’t live without them.’ I spit out an olive. I’ve never liked them and never will.
    ‘No,’ says Janet shaking her head vigorously. ‘Can’t live with them. Full stop.’
    ‘Oh yeah.’ I forgot for a moment Janet was a man hater. I swiftly change the subject. ‘Hugh had a heart attack today.’
    ‘Hugh? Who the hell’s Hugh?’ Isobel asks.
    ‘Young guy. Works with Declan. He was jogging. Poor old Declan seemed pretty cut up about it.’
    Isobel sighs. ‘Heart attacks are really not as bad these days as they used to be. Often people have them and they just carry on and a month or so later they visit their doctors and the doctors go, “Hey you know you had a heart attack a while back?” And they reply, “Oh did I?” And the doctors say, “Yes, you bloomin’ did”.’
    ‘And afterwards,’ Janet puts her