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didn’t even tell Nate, her husband.
    Now it’s too late.
    I heard the doctors
talking to Nate, stage four lung cancer .   They didn’t sound like that was a good thing.
    I can tell that Sam
is angry as she walks up to her mother.   It’s hard to tell who she’s angrier with — herself or her mom.   I have a hunch she’s a lot angrier with
herself.
    That’s the way Sam
is.
    Emily stirs and
repositions herself in the bed as we get closer.   The anger on Sam’s face changes.   Now she’s angrier with her
mother.
    “Hello, Sam,” Emily
coughs.   Sam barely flinches.
    “Oh, Sammy, don’t be
that way.   You didn’t do this.” Emily
looks at her daughter with regret and compassion.   Sam’s anger flashes across her face.   It’s a bit scary how livid she looks.   She grips my hand tighter and I fight back a
grimace.
    “You’re right,
Mother, it’s your fault.   If you had
stopped smoking when I told you to…” She never finishes and just breaks down
crying.   Emily places her hand on the
back of Sam’s head and strokes her hair.   Sam loses herself in grief and leaps into her arms, screaming and
sobbing as she lets out her pain and resentment on her mother’s chest.
    I knew this would
happen eventually.   I’m surprised it
happened so fast.
    “Stupid, Mom!   Stupid!   Stupid!” Her screaming slowly turns into sobbing and then
whimpering.   Emily softly strokes her
hair the entire time, comforting her.   I
feel the need to do something, so I place a hand on Sam’s back and wipe a tear
from her eye when she looks at me.
    “I’ll wait outside,
Sam.” I turn to leave, but she grabs my hand and refuses to let me go, her face
buried in her mother’s chest.   I feel
like a comfort blanket at this point, but I don’t really care.   I like having Sam’s confidence.   I transition the death grip into a soothing
hold and stand there rubbing her back while she lets out her emotions.
    After a long time,
Sam calms down and Emily asks me to take her outside.   She wants to talk to Nate for a minute.   I help Sam off the bed and Emily leans over
to whisper in her ear. “I love you, Piglet.”
    Sam bites back a sob
from escaping and nods.   Emily looks at
me. “You take good care of my piglet,” she tells me, “she’s very special.”
    I nod. “I know that,
Emily.   I’ve known that for a long time.”
Emily smiles at me and I warm at her praise.
    I lead Sam to a bench
in the hall and crouch in front of her while she sits down.   Taking her hands, I cradle them in mine.   I want to console her, but I can’t think of
anything to say, or do, that will make her feel
better.   I finally just sit down next to
her and wrap her up in my arms.   She
doesn’t sob, but she whimpers.
    Sam’s breathing starts
to slow and I know she’s fallen asleep.   All the emotions have been too much for her today.   Taking my jacket off, I place her head on it
and slip out to head back in the room.   I
have a bunch of questions for Emily.
    Nate is cupping her
head in his hands, forehead to forehead.
    “Baby, what am I
going to do?” he whispers barely loud enough for me to hear.   She smiles at him.
    “I don’t think I can
do this.   Not alone.” I see Nate’s tears
come.   Emily smiles at him and places her
palm on his cheek, wiping the tears away with her thumb.
    “You are the
strongest person I know, Nate.   If anyone
can raise our child by himself, it’s you.” A sliver of pain passes across her
face and her small smile falters.   Nate
shudders, I think at the thought of raising Sam without Emily around.   She grips both sides of Nate’s face with a
fierce look.
    “Promise me
something, Nate.”
    “Anything,
Em.   Name it and I’ll do it.” Her
sad smile comes back and she closes her eyes in silent pain.
    “Don’t hold on to
me.” Nate inhales in surprise. “I want you to find someone that will love you
as much I have.” Nate is shaking his head.
    “If you find