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WHOLENESS
    Our faulty patterns of breathing have developed over many years and are tied in closely with our self-image, with our individual patterns of illusion, avoidance, and forgetfulness. As a result, correcting them is not just a matter of applying the right techniques. Nor is it just a matter of going to a physical therapist or other body work practitioner to learn proper breathing mechanics, as we might go to an auto mechanic to fix a faulty carburetor or muffler. It is, rather, a matter of perceptual reeducation, of learning how to experience ourselves in an entirely new way, and from an entirely new perspective.
    The etymology of the verb to heal is related to the verb to make whole. To become whole, however, it is first necessary, as Gurdjieff says, to know that I am not whole —to sense my dis-ease, to actually see and come to terms with my imbalance, my fragmentation, my illusions, my contradictions, and my incomplete sensation of myself. Self-healing thus begins with awareness and acceptance of “what is,” of the living reality of my psychosomatic structure—the ways in which my thoughts, emotions, and sensations interact with my chemistry, physiology, and psychology. The awareness of “what is,” however, is not something I can bring about by force. It depends on discovering a dimension in myself of inner quiet, of inner clarity—a clear, uncolored lens through which I can observe myself without any judgment, criticism, or analysis. This inner clarity, which Gurdjieff calls “presence,” is both a precondition and a result of work with sensation and breath.

    THE IMPORTANCE OF FOLLOWING THE BREATH
    One of the very first steps of this work, therefore—a step that on no account must be skipped—is to learn how to “follow,” to sense, the movements of our breath without interfering with them or trying to change them in any way. This work of following—which is left out of many teachings and therapies—provides the stable foundation of inner perception required for sensing the various mechanisms involved in breathing, as well as observing the physical, emotional, and mental forces acting on them. As Ilse Middendorf, one of the great pioneers in breath therapy, has pointed out, it is by perceiving our breath as it comes and goes that we discover an opening into our own unconscious life, and bring about a conscious expansion into the whole of ourselves. 12 It is my experience that this expansion of awareness, this conscious “welcoming” of everything that we are, lies at the heart of deep, inner quiet and relaxation—an organic release from the stranglehold of our self-image, and from the excessive tension, stress, and negativity in our inner and outer lives. It is this welcoming that is the foundation of wholeness, of real health.

    LISTENING TO THE BODY
    Learning how to observe the mechanisms involved in breathing, as well as the various physical, emotional, and mental forces acting on them, depends in large part on learning how to sense ourselves, to listen to ourselves, to expand our attention to include the sensory impressions constantly arising in our organism. Though it sometimes happens spontaneously, listening to our bodies in the midst of action is relatively rare. It demands that we learn how to be attentive in two directions at once: outwardly toward the conditions and actions of our outer lives, and inwardly toward the thoughts, emotions, and sensations of our inner lives. For it is only when we can be aware of both our inner and outer worlds at the same time, that we can go beyond the beliefs of our self-image and experience the real forces at work in us.
    Learning how to “listen” to the continual flow of information that our body gives us is not easy. It demands that we live not in our dreams and imagination, but rather in the reality of the present moment. As psychoanalyst Rollo May points out, “In our society it often requires considerable effort to listen to the body—an