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saying the bit about adorable princess and adorable mermaid, I made a shape like angel wings above my head. It was something Gemma always did with Lilly; there is such a special bond between the two of them. It might have looked a bit silly, but I knew that if Gemma saw it, she would know I was reaching out to her.
    Max spoke next, reiterating what I had said and saying we were a really close family and so wanted her back.
    Once we had all had our turn to speak, there was a question-and-answer session with the press. The floodgates opened as all the reporters started shouting questions at me. After a while, Jason Tingley stepped in. He could see that it was all getting too much for me and he said that questions should be addressed to him only. He didn’t reveal all the facts about the case as it was important to hold back various details. That way, if anybody came forward with any information, the police could verify that it tallied with their own information.
    After about 20 minutes, the press conference was over and Max and I left the room. The moment I got through the door, I collapsed to the floor and started howling like a wounded animal. I don’t remember any of this. It was like I’d passed out, unaware of my actions, but Chloe and Darcee said the noise I was making was almost inhuman, and they were very upset about the state I was in. They helped me to my feet and kept talking to bring me back round.
    A little while later, once I’d had a chance to compose myself, Max and I did an interview with a journalist from ITV’s Daybreak , which was then circulated to other broadcasters. We only agreed to this because we knew how important it was to get the story out. If anyone thinks you get to feel like a celebrity when this sort of thing is going on, you are very much mistaken. The whole experience made me feel sick.
    I was completely shell-shocked and felt utterly exhausted, but the police media team reassured us that what we had done would create the best possible press coverage for the search to find Gemma and Forrest. Nick Cloke said we had done really well.
    Back in the car on the way home, Hannah asked me a question which no mother should ever have to hear: ‘When Gemma is found, do you give your permission for her to be medically examined once she is taken into protective custody?’ My heart went cold. To be fair to her, Hannah had to ask me that question and she quickly explained that if Gemma didn’t agree to an examination, they wouldn’t force her.
    Even at this point, when I knew there was a sexual issue to consider, I just wanted to block it out. I wasn’t being naïve about it, I just couldn’t face the idea of my little girl and this wicked, predatory teacher together.
    Luckily for me, there were other things to consider. Paul had picked up Alfie after his first day at school and taken him to McDonald’s as a special treat, and I was determined to give him the fuss he deserved when I got home. I ran into the house, scooped him up in my arms and gave him the biggest cuddle ever. It was as if I had an on-off switch – seeing Alfie’s happy little face helped me step out of the Gemma nightmare and switch back into normal life. To totally put aside problems and concentrate on getting the necessary done is a great coping mechanism.
    Alfie was desperate to tell me all about his first day at school, what he had done, what his teachers were like and the new friends that he had made. He is such a lovely, friendly little boy and always so enthusiastic. He was really excited and almost bouncing off the walls, filling me in on his day. I made a special point of saying how grown-up he was, going off to big school now.
    We knew that details from the press conference and Gemma’s photograph were likely to be all over the television news reports, so Paul hid the remote control to make sure that Alfie wouldn’t switch on and see his big sister on TV. Like every child, Alfie loves to watch the telly, so instead