didn’t feel like me – and I felt that I needed to get myself back on track and focus on staying positive.
I banned everyone from using the landline, so that it would be clear for Gemma if she were to ring, and I had my mobilephone practically super-glued to my side in case there was any news from the police.
My neighbours were all completely fantastic while the madness was going on outside my front door. They spoke to reporters, but nobody said anything derogatory or tried to stitch us up; everyone was so respectful. I felt so terrible that they were trapped in their homes while the press took over the street, but they were all very patient about it.
My next-door neighbour Katrina was an absolute star. As it was so difficult for us to leave the house, she started handing food parcels over the garden fence. She made sure we had enough food in for the kids and plenty of milk for all of those endless cups of tea and coffee that we were going through. I don’t know how I would have managed without her.
Tuesday was spent trying to do ordinary family things, the things I felt that I had neglected for the past few days. Paul had taken over feeding and changing Lilly, so I made a special point of taking back the reins as far as being the mum was concerned. I needed to let my children know I was still there for them and give them as much reassurance as I could that everything would be alright. I also needed the time to find the energy for whatever was to happen next.
Hannah called me with the great news that the European arrest warrant had been issued and let me know that there had been a fantastic response to the press conference. The police were busy sifting through leads, Detective Inspector Andy Harbour was on his way to the incident room that had been set up in Paris, and officers were on standby to collect Gemma and bring her back to the UK when she was found.
I sent Andy Harbour a text message to wish him good luck and thanked him for everything he was doing. His replyread: ‘I promise I will do everything to bring her back’. It brought tears to my eyes. I was overwhelmed by the care we were getting. My world was in his hands and I knew I could completely trust him.
Later that day, Hannah came over with the CCTV images that were going to be released to the media. They showed Gemma hand in hand with Forrest. She was wearing her school uniform but had swapped her school polo top for a vest top. ‘At least she looks OK,’ I remember thinking. ‘She doesn’t look frightened, she looks quite relaxed – oh, and she’s wearing my cardigan!’ I felt so relieved to see a picture of her, but the sight of her hand in hand with her teacher was another thing altogether. I didn’t want to think about it too much, I couldn’t go there.
I kept staring at the picture. All the while I kept thinking, how could I have missed this? I remembered conversations, days when she had gone out, and I wondered if there had been any times she had given me hints that something else was going on.
In contrast to the day before, Tuesday was quite a calm day for all of us. Alfie went off to school as normal, but I could see that he was a bit confused about all the people outside and the fact we were still living in the dark inside the house.
One time, when Alfie asked why there were so many people outside, Max told him that the next-door neighbours were having a party. Alfie believed him, but he was very disappointed that he hadn’t been invited! On the two occasions when he saw police officers in the house, they were in plain clothes, so Paul and I told him they were from Argos and had come round to find out if he had been good enough for the Spiderman helicopter that he wanted. It’s amazing how creative you can become in a crisis.
Later that day, an intelligence officer came over to fit a tracking device to our phone and we told Alfie he was mending it. The whole thing was such a strange situation – like I was in an episode of 24
Marcus Emerson, Sal Hunter, Noah Child