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but I been seeing things a lot differently lately. We’ve been spending a lot more time together and it’s been really great. I know that I never want to be without you. I love you, April.” I kissed her on the cheek. “But I had convinced myself of basically the same thing that you did: As long as it didn’t cut into your time, it was all good. But now I see that it’s really not worth it.”
    “You’re just saying that ’cause you got caught.”
    “No, that’s not it at all.” I laughed to myself as I thought about something that Mr. George told me once. “Until your woman catches you in the pussy and sticks her finger in your ass and says I got you, you ain’t caught. You can always deny it.” I started to share that little tidbit of playa logic with April, but I knew this wasn’t the time.
    “I wanted us to start thinking about the future, Rick. Our future—our future together. Not you, meand Laura, or anybody else for that matter; just you and me. I wanted to get married one day. I wanted to marry you. But I can’t, not like this.”
    She said it.
    Twice.
    The M word.
    I cringed when she said it the first time. But when she said that she wanted to marry me, somehow it didn’t seem as bad.
    “I’m not saying that we should run out and get married tomorrow. I know that you’re not ready. But all I want is for you to show me some respect.”
    “I do respect you.”
    “How could you say you respect me? ’Cause you don’t parade your women all up in my face? I know Victor knows what you doin’, doesn’t he?” I didn’t answer. “I’ll take that as a yes, playa . I’ve heard him call you playa . So if he knows, I know that Keisha has to know it too. So how is that respecting me?”
    Once again, she had me speechless. I hate it when that happens. But all in all, I knew she was right. And so did she . All I could say was, “Okay.”
    “Okay, what does that mean? Okay?”
    “Okay, April. You’re right; I’ve been wrong. But if you give me some time I’ll show you.”
    “We’ll see,” April said, as she got up and walked toward the front door. She looked back at me. “But I think you should go home. Like I said, I think we need to take a break from each other.”
    “Don’t do this, April. You’ll see, I’ll change,” I pleaded with her, thinking that this couldn’t be happening.
    “Come back when you’ve changed and we’ll see. But I won’t play the fool anymore.”
    I got up and walked to the door. April opened the door and I stepped outside. I turned and looked at her. “Good night, Rick,” April said and closed the door in my face.
    I felt bad as I drove away from April’s apartment, like a beaten man. It felt like I had lost the only thing that was really important to me. And I had. Now, what I should have done was gone straight home and called April. Talked to her on the phone until the sun came up the way we used to in the old days when we couldn’t get enough of each other. But I didn’t, I started rationalizing. Why does April want a break all of the sudden? She got another man on hold? Yeah, that’s it. That’s why she was so quiet tonight. She had to get rid of me so she could get with that nigga.
    I took out my cell phone as I drove and called Laura. But as fate would have it, I got voice mail on all of her numbers. “Damn, who can I call?” I asked myself, still unwilling to accept the obvious answer. Go home, call April, and beg her to take you back.
    But then I thought about, Karen, or was it Sharon ? What her name was didn’t make a difference. All that mattered was that she answered the phone on the second, and after she made sure that I knew her name was Sharon and not Karen, she invited me over. When I got there she opened the door wearing a leopard print teddy and a thong to match.
    She quietly led me into her candlelit bedroom. Sharon put her arms around my neck and kissed me. At first I couldn’t get thoughts of April out of my head, but as I let