those velvety ears.
Then I saw the figure standing outside my car door: it was Marlboro Man, whoâd come outside to greet me. His jeans were clean, his shirt tucked in and starched. I couldnât yet see his face, though, which was what I wanted most. Getting out of the car, I smiled and looked up, squinting. The western sunset was a backdrop behind his sculpted frame. It was such a beautiful sight, a stark contrast to all the ugliness that had surrounded me that day. He shut the car door behind me and moved in for a hug, which provided all the emotional fuel I needed to continue breathing. Finally, in that instant, I felt like things would be okay.
I smiled and acted cheerful, following him into the kitchen and not at all letting on that my day had sucked about as badly as a day could have sucked. Iâd never been one to wear my feelings on my sleeve, and I sure wasnât going to let them splay out on what was merely my sixth date with the sexiest, most masculine man Iâd ever met. But I knew I was a goner when Marlboro Man looked at me and asked, âYou okay?â
You know when youâre not okay, but then someone asks you if youâre okay, and you say youâre okay and act like youâre okay, but then you start realizing youâre not okay? Then you feel your nose start to tingle and your throat start to swell and your chin start to quiver and you tell yourself, In the name of all that is good and holy, do not do this. Do not do this⦠but youâre powerless to stop it? And you try to blink it away and you finally think youâve just about got it under control?
But then the cowboy standing in front of you smiles gently and says, âYou sure?â
Those two simple words opened up the Floodgates of Hell. I smiled andlaughed, embarrassed, even as two big, thick tears rolled down both my cheeks. Then I laughed again and blew a nice, clear explosion of snot from my nose. Of all the things that had happened that day, that single moment might have been the worst.
âOh my gosh, I canât believe Iâm doing this,â I insisted as another pair of tears spilled out. I scrambled around the kitchen counter and found a paper towel, using it to dab the salty wetness on my face and the copious slime under my nose. âI am so, so sorry.â I inhaled deeply, my chest beginning to contract and convulse. This was an ugly cry. I was absolutely horrified.
âHeyâ¦whatâs wrong?â Marlboro Man asked. Bless his heart, he had to have been as uncomfortable as I was. Heâd grown up on a cattle ranch, after all, with two brothers, no sisters, and a mother who was likely as lacking in histrionics as I wished I was at that moment. He led a quiet life out here on the ranch, isolated from the drama of city life. Judging from what heâd told me so far, he hadnât invited many women over to his house for dinner. And now he had one blubbering uncontrollably in his kitchen. Iâd better hurry up and enjoy this evening , I told myself. He wonât be inviting me to any more dinners after this. I blew my nose on the paper towel. I wanted to go hide in the bathroom.
Then he took my arm, in a much softer grip than the one heâd used on our first date when heâd kept me from biting the dust. âNo, câmon,â he said, pulling me closer to him and securing his arms around my waist. I died a thousand deaths as he whispered softly, âWhatâs wrong?â
What could I possibly say? Oh, nothing, itâs just that Iâve been slowly breaking up with my boyfriend from California and I uninvited him to my brotherâs wedding last week and I thought everything was fine and then he called last night after I got home from cooking you that Linguine with Clam Sauce you loved so much and he said he was flying here today and I told him not to because there really wasnât anything else we could possibly talk about and I thought he