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especially when the girls were babies and sleep came at a premium, when our love life was somewhat less than passionate or romantic. There had been other periods when we were as desirous of one another as newlyweds.
    These last few months had been like the latter. Brad’s expressions of love had made me feel as if I were twenty again, lithe and beautiful. He’d even memorized verses from the Song of Songs to whisper to me as we lay in bed.
    â€œWhat a lovely filly you are, my beloved one . . . How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful! Your eyes are soft like doves.”
    Unbidden, the thought came to me: had he whispered similar words in Nicole’s ear while she lay in his arms? I shuddered, willing the traitorous thought away. I would not allow such poison to enter my mind.
    Brad turned from the window. With his eyes, he begged me to believe him. I did. Mostly. No, completely. Of course, completely. He’d said Nicole was lying, and I trusted him.
    I stood. “I’d better go home. I . . . I need to call Annabeth and cancel the Bible study for tonight.”
    â€œDo you think you should? You almost never cancel.”
    â€œI have to watch that news program. I need to know what she says, and I can’t do that with the ladies there.”
    â€œWhatever she says, it’ll be a lie. She was angry when she quit. She’s trying to cause trouble.”
    Why would anyone do this, no matter how angry she is? It makes no sense. None of it.
    â€œKat.” He walked toward me. “Are we okay?”
    I don’t know. Are we? Tell me, Brad. Tell me we’re okay.
    He drew me into his embrace, holding my head against his chest with one hand, his other hand rubbing my back. I could hear his heartbeat. Bah-bum . . . bah-bum . . . bah-bum . . .
    â€œStan told us not to worry,” he said softly.
    â€œI know.”
    â€œSo let’s not worry.”
    â€œI’m trying.”
    He kissed the crown of my head. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”
    We’d come through other storms of life together. Like the time we broke up about a month after Brad proposed. Like the several health scares we’d had when Hayley was little or those terrible times with Emma when she was in her teens. But we’d made it through, all of us. God had been faithful. I had to believe we would come through this too.

    I did try not to worry after I returned home, but I failed. Abysmally. I felt brittle, ready to shatter at the slightest provocation. I sat in the family room, television on, ignoring the phone when it rang, dreading the approach of seven o’clock.Time seemed both to crawl and to rush by at the same time.
    It was midafternoon when Susan arrived on my doorstep. “Why aren’t you at work?” I asked—not the most gracious of greetings.
    â€œI came to see a friend in need. I’ll bet you’re sitting around waiting for that show to start. Girlfriend, you need to get out of the house. Grab your purse.We’re going out.”
    â€œOh, Susan. I don’t want—”
    â€œI don’t care what you want. You’re doing what I say.” She stepped inside, her eyes staring past me. “Is Brad here?”
    â€œNo. He’s at the office.”
    â€œWhat about your Bible study? Is it still on for the night?”
    I shook my head. “I cancelled it.”
    â€œJust as well.” She flicked her fingertips in my direction. “Get a move on.”
    With a sigh, I went upstairs, where I brushed my hair, added a golden-hued eye shadow to my lids, freshened my mascara and lipstick, and finished with a spritz of cologne.
    â€œWhere are we going?” I asked when I returned to the entry.
    â€œI feel like something to eat. Do you want to choose?”
    â€œNo. I don’t care where we go. I’m not hungry.”
    I led the way outside, handing Susan the keys so she could lock the door behind us. Soon enough, we