especially when the girls were babies and sleep came at a premium, when our love life was somewhat less than passionate or romantic. There had been other periods when we were as desirous of one another as newlyweds.
These last few months had been like the latter. Bradâs expressions of love had made me feel as if I were twenty again, lithe and beautiful. Heâd even memorized verses from the Song of Songs to whisper to me as we lay in bed.
âWhat a lovely filly you are, my beloved one . . . How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful! Your eyes are soft like doves.â
Unbidden, the thought came to me: had he whispered similar words in Nicoleâs ear while she lay in his arms? I shuddered, willing the traitorous thought away. I would not allow such poison to enter my mind.
Brad turned from the window. With his eyes, he begged me to believe him. I did. Mostly. No, completely. Of course, completely. Heâd said Nicole was lying, and I trusted him.
I stood. âIâd better go home. I . . . I need to call Annabeth and cancel the Bible study for tonight.â
âDo you think you should? You almost never cancel.â
âI have to watch that news program. I need to know what she says, and I canât do that with the ladies there.â
âWhatever she says, itâll be a lie. She was angry when she quit. Sheâs trying to cause trouble.â
Why would anyone do this, no matter how angry she is? It makes no sense. None of it.
âKat.â He walked toward me. âAre we okay?â
I donât know. Are we? Tell me, Brad. Tell me weâre okay.
He drew me into his embrace, holding my head against his chest with one hand, his other hand rubbing my back. I could hear his heartbeat. Bah-bum . . . bah-bum . . . bah-bum . . .
âStan told us not to worry,â he said softly.
âI know.â
âSo letâs not worry.â
âIâm trying.â
He kissed the crown of my head. âWeâll get through this. I promise.â
Weâd come through other storms of life together. Like the time we broke up about a month after Brad proposed. Like the several health scares weâd had when Hayley was little or those terrible times with Emma when she was in her teens. But weâd made it through, all of us. God had been faithful. I had to believe we would come through this too.
I did try not to worry after I returned home, but I failed. Abysmally. I felt brittle, ready to shatter at the slightest provocation. I sat in the family room, television on, ignoring the phone when it rang, dreading the approach of seven oâclock.Time seemed both to crawl and to rush by at the same time.
It was midafternoon when Susan arrived on my doorstep. âWhy arenât you at work?â I askedânot the most gracious of greetings.
âI came to see a friend in need. Iâll bet youâre sitting around waiting for that show to start. Girlfriend, you need to get out of the house. Grab your purse.Weâre going out.â
âOh, Susan. I donât wantââ
âI donât care what you want. Youâre doing what I say.â She stepped inside, her eyes staring past me. âIs Brad here?â
âNo. Heâs at the office.â
âWhat about your Bible study? Is it still on for the night?â
I shook my head. âI cancelled it.â
âJust as well.â She flicked her fingertips in my direction. âGet a move on.â
With a sigh, I went upstairs, where I brushed my hair, added a golden-hued eye shadow to my lids, freshened my mascara and lipstick, and finished with a spritz of cologne.
âWhere are we going?â I asked when I returned to the entry.
âI feel like something to eat. Do you want to choose?â
âNo. I donât care where we go. Iâm not hungry.â
I led the way outside, handing Susan the keys so she could lock the door behind us. Soon enough, we