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both her father and her mother.
    There are several common types of family situations that can set a woman up to be a Nice Girl. These include:
Having a passive mother
Having an abusive or tyrannical father or older brother
Being raised in an ultra-conservative or deeply religious fam- ily in which women are considered to be second-class citizens
Being raised in a misogynistic family
Having parents who place a high value on women’s being fair, compassionate, and nice
    The first false belief, that other people’s feelings and needs are more important than one’s own, usually comes from being taught this at home. This belief may have been modeled by a passive or codependent mother who sacrificed herself for her family or her husband, never considering that she had needs of her own. A girl growing up with such a mother can easily receive the message that to be a good woman, a good wife, or a good mother, she must put her own needs aside and focus solely on the needs of others.
    Another way that a woman may have received this message is if she had a selfish or narcissistic parent who considered his or her needs to be all-important and who ignored the needs of his or her child. A girl raised in this environment often comes to believe that her happiness lies in fulfilling the needs of others.

    Experiential Beliefs
    It is quite common for Nice Girls to have experienced physical, emo- tional, or sexual abuse in their childhood or as adults. Abuse and neg- lect can create certain unhealthy attitudes and beliefs that set women up to be Nice Girls and often victims. For example, those who end up becoming a Nice Girl or taking on a victim stance tend to:
Blame themselves when something goes wrong
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Believe their needs are not as important as those of others
Doubt themselves, including doubting their perceptions, their knowledge, and their beliefs
Be overly trusting of others, even when someone has proven to be untrustworthy
Be naive when it comes to the motives of others
Believe they should attempt to meet the needs of others (espe- cially those of their partner and children) no matter the con- sequences or hardships to themselves and that their own needs are not as important as those of others
    In addition to these four major sources of the Nice Girl syn- drome, there are other causes as well. Here are the top ten reasons women tend to be too nice:
They are afraid that unless they are nice, others will not like them.
They are afraid that if they aren’t nice, others won’t be nice to them.
They are afraid of confrontation and conflict.
They are afraid of being rejected or abandoned by those they love.
They are afraid of being ostracized from their social circle of other women.
They are afraid of their anger, of what they might do if they get in touch with it.
They are afraid of becoming like an abusive parent.
They are afraid of being seen as too masculine.
They are afraid of being called a “bitch” or a “ball-breaker.”
They are afraid that if they aren’t nice, men will not protect them and provide for them.

    The Fear Factor
    As we can see, fear is the predominant factor here. Why are women so fearful? There are multitude reasons, many of which center
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    around the mere fact that as females we are the “weaker” sex, at least physically. The truth is that most men are bigger and stronger than most women and, for this very reason, women are often intimidated by men. We aren’t necessarily conscious of this on an everyday basis, but the fear is there, nevertheless. It is similar to how a small dog feels next to a large dog. The two dogs can coexist and even play and romp with each other, but make no mistake about it—the smaller dog knows her limits. She knows that if the larger dog wanted to, he could overpower her.
    The other factor, closely related to the size differential, is that men carry a built-in weapon they can use against women—their penis.