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places that might not be appropriate? Or is he possibly masturbating to avoid having sex with you ?
    If so, you need to deal with those realities, but you also have to take the fantasy aspect of masturbation in stride. Fantasy is an integral component of all sexual relationships, as pretend scenarios can stave off bedroom boredom—within reason, of course. It’s unrealistic to expect your partner to never fantasize, but it’s also unrealistic and unfair to you if you know his mind is straying every time you’re in bed together.
    If, after you’ve tried this, your partner’s fantasizing continues to bother you, perhaps you could ask him to fantasize about you instead. The last thing you want him to say is, “I’m not going to have sex if I can’t fantasize the way I want to!” And that way, you know he’s thinking about you and you only.
    Technically speaking, premature ejaculation is when a man loses control over his ejaculation before or just after sexual penetration, often with minimal sexual stimulation. It used to be defined as being unable to have sex for more than two minutes without ejaculating, but this figure is being revised downward toone minute. Premature ejaculation often happens with minimal sexual stimulation.
    There are different ways to control this problem:
By masturbating a lot less. A man will in essence un-train his penis from ejaculating quickly through self-stimulation.
By switching sex positions, using extra lubrication to lessen the friction, or trying the stop-and-start technique while having sex.
By using medication or a product to lessen sensitivity. The effectiveness of these medications provides further proof that premature ejaculation is a central brain and nervous system issue that can be fixed.
By taking an extremely low dose of an antidepressant medication such as Zoloft. There’s virtually no antidepressant effect at such a low dose. The typical dose for clinical depression is 200 milligrams per day, while for premature ejaculation, it’s only 25 to 50 milligrams. I don’t know who discovered this fortunate side effect, but he or she is to be thanked by all the men it’s helped!
    Still, lots of men don’t want to go to a doctor like me to ask for help and get a prescription. They’d rather go to the drugstore and pick something up over the counter (OTC, or non-prescription). This is not a smart move because self-diagnosis can be nothing more than a waste of money. (Expensive, ineffective vitamins or energy supplements that are merely excreted in urine make for very pricey pee!). In the worst-case scenario, these OTC remedies can have severe, even life-threatening results. For example, anOTC drug could interfere with medications you’re already taking or may be harmful itself if taken in improper doses.
    Hands On: Women and Masturbation
    In my years of medical practice, 95 percent of the men I’ve seen or treated masturbate, and many of them have no problem admitting it. But women, as I’ve said, are much less willing to talk about self-pleasuring—their own or their partner’s. Even in the twenty-first century, many women have told me that they were taught that their bodies were “dirty” or that “nice girls don’t touch themselves down there,” leading to lots of guilt and shame. Plus, if you haven’t been taught about anatomy—the function of the clitoris, the difference between vaginal and clitoral orgasms, and so on—you may be less inclined to explore the wonders of your nether regions when the mood strikes.
    Another reason some women neglect self-pleasuring is that they think of their system “down there” as annoying because their monthly periods are messy or downright painful, or both. If you have cramps that make you bloated and tender or you experience mood swings related to your period for one week every month, you’re probably not going to be in the mood for some hands-on fun “down there.”
    How women feel about their bodies and their openness