sat in a chair, her face pale but composed. Euodus told me that she was Domitia Lepida, Messalina's mother.
Messalina’s voice reminded me of Chinese silk. "Oh mother why is it taking so long? His messenger should have been here by now. He wouldn’t see me but he will read my letter. He'll read it and then he'll understand."
The older woman's voice was perfectly calm. "Whether he reads it or not, whether he spares you or not, you have to pull yourself together, my child. The blood of heroes runs in your veins. You must not shame it."
"But I must live for my son's sake, Venus has promised me that I shall."
"My daughter, take a hold of yourself, you must-"
"No!" Messalina took two steps towards the open window and gazed with a melting expression at the evening star, already astonishingly bright, riding high in the sky. "Look, there she is, my protectoress. Last night she saw Mars strike my Sun."
"Messalina, she is setting -"
"Petra's dream in which he saw Claudius wearing a wreath of withering vine leaves, my astrologer's confirmation that Mars striking my sun presaged evil for my husband: both indicate that it's my husband who must die, not me. Claudius has killed Silius so the prediction is fulfilled. Claudius is safe now. I have saved his life!"
"My child, you are grasping at straws. I have known for some time that this is the day and this the hour."
"What? No one besides for my astrologer, not even Claudius, knows my horoscope."
"How could your mother not know the date and time of your birth?"
There was a sudden rasp in the silky voice. "Whom did you consult about my stars?"
A moment's hesitation, enough to admit an indiscretion. "Ptolemy, some time ago."
"Ptolemy Seleucus! Mother, you know perfectly well that he keeps no secrets from Agrippina!" A moment of realization, a strangled little cry. "Oh! Agrippina was the one who told me that my husband was doomed, she was the one who suggested I marry Silius to save Claudius! She used the birth time you gave her. You betrayed me mother!"
This statement was followed by a torrent of tears that Domitia did her best to wipe away with a handkerchief. There was the sound of clanking metal behind us. I turned. A column of Praetorians was approaching lit by torch-bearers on either side. The shiny steel column crested with purple horsehair looked like a monstrous caterpillar. Euodus took a long look at Venus as if he were calculating her position. Then, grinning with malicious joy, he kicked the door three times in mock imitation of destiny's knock. Messalina smothered her scream when she saw the Praetorians through the window.
Without even deigning to look towards the door, Domitia Lepida held out a jeweled dagger to her daughter. Her voice became as hard as the marble statues of her ancestors. "Valeria Messalina, you bear the proud names of mighty consuls and triumphant generals who have not hesitated to lay down their lives for their honor. Now it is time to lay down yours."
Since the door was locked and neither of the women showed any sign of opening it, Euodus broke it with two lunges of his brawny shoulders.
The soldiers coming out of the night filed past him.
Domitia Lepida ignored them. "Valeria Messalina," she intoned, "your time has come."
Messalina took the dagger from her mother, cradled it to her breast. "Is this why you are here?" she asked the guard colonel in a little voice.
Euodus answered for him. "Come on whore, he jeered, “you have the stomach for sperm, let's see if you have the stomach for steel."
Messalina's fury gave her the courage to make a little nick in her throat. Crying now, she stabbed at her breast and sank to her knees. This time the dagger had gone deeper and blood flowed freely but it clearly wasn't a mortal blow.
For the first time Domitia Lepida acknowledged the presence of the soldiers. "Help her," she said to the colonel.
He did.
Near dawn I dreamt again in my cubicle. I was on a flat, desert plain walking towards a