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person’s name, a mark was made under P for “pint” or Q for “quart” whenever a seaman ordered another draught.
On payday, each seaman had to pay up for each mark next to his name, so he was forced to mind his P’s and Q’s or he would get into financial trouble. To ensure an accurate count by dubious keepers, sailors had to keep their wits and remain somewhat sober. Sobriety usually ensured good behavior, hence today’s meaning of mind your P’s and Q’s.
     
    DO ASK IF YOU CAN TASTE A DRAUGHT BEER. Many beer bars offer tastes as a courtesy, showing you different flavors and allowing you to find the best beer for your needs. Try to narrow down which beers you’d like to try by looking at the list and talking to the bartender about your favorite flavors. But just like your mom told you at Baskin-Robbins, taking advantage of this tasting courtesy at a beer bar is a no-no. Try to limit your tastes to two beers—three is pushing it.
     
    DON’T ’ T DRINK OUT OF THE BOTTLE. Good beer bars serve beer in the appropriate corresponding glass, which varies greatly in size, depending on the beer. When it’s served like this, you may think you aren’t getting enough of a good thing. But, just as you would not ask for white wine in a Pinot Noir glass, don’t ask for your Tripel in a pint glass. Believe us when we tell you that you are getting your money’s worth. If you had a 16-ounce pint glass full of that 9% Tripel, the beer would be resting too long, causing it to lose carbonation and warm up too quickly for that style. Not only that, but you might find yourself ass over teakettle before the night was through. Pint glasses are perfect for some beer styles but not all beer styles (see Chapter 7).
     
    DO ASK FOR A GLASS IF YOU ORDER A GOOD BOTTLED BEER. We’ve been to some bars, which shall remain nameless, that dare to bring us a rare specialty Belgian beer, made by monks no less, without even a regular inferior pint glass to pour it into. This would be like ordering a bottle of wine and having it show up without glassware. Would you get the full flavor by drinking out of the bottle? The same applies to good beer. This style of beer should be served in a beautiful goblet or tulip-shaped glass, depending on the beer, just like they do it in beautiful Belgium. If you are a victim of this crime, feel free to ask for a proper glass.
     
    DON’T SIMPLY ASK FOR A LIGHT BEER OR A DARK BEER OR AN ALE OR A LAGER. We cannot repeat or stress this enough. This is like going to a wine bar and just asking for a red wine or saying, “I’ll have something white.” This is too vague. It will leave your bartender with too much open room to give you a beer that might not match your palate. Again, go with flavors. Or if you are looking for something that is, say, light in alcohol, ask for that, but add some flavor descriptors. For example, “I’d like a low-alcohol, nutty, amber ale.” This will get you closer to the happiness you deserve.
    DRINKING YOUR BEER
    DO DRINK YOUR BEER LIKE WINE. We are talking about the kinds of beer that should be treated as well as you would treat a fine wine. Lift your glass up to the light and check out the color. Ask yourself what flavors you can expect from the roast of the malt. Swirl the glass and release the carbonation. Get your nose way down in there and breathe in the luscious aromatics. Finally, take a drink. Swirl the beer in your mouth, over your tongue. Take the time to really taste it. Think about what you are drinking. As with wine, there is the initial flavor, but then there are also secondary flavors and more subtle flavors that are revealed with each new sip.
     
    DON’T SLAM YOUR BEER. One misconception that many people have about beer is that it should be guzzled. The Keg Stand, Quarters, Beer Pong, and many other popular pastimes all operate under this assumption. But swilling beer down your gullet without taking the time to savor or appreciate it is an offense to great