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bigger flavors and aromatics usually found in an ale. Great. Now decide which type of ale you feel like. Use your flavor descriptors. Do you feel like banana? Pine tree? Coffee? Though you know about some major beer styles, you may not feel comfortable asking for a Porter or Stout yet. If that’s the case, use the vocabulary for cuisine that you already have. Describe your ideal beer, just as you would describe any other food or spice. Always return to flavors: bitter, nutty, tart apple, and so on. In fact, you could simply list off the herbs and spices you have in your kitchen: cinnamon, pepper, cardamom, and sage, and any great beer bartender worth her salt should be able to find a beer with those flavors.
    You may already be fairly comfortable using such terms in conjunction with wine: velvety, peppery, leather, jasmine, cherry tones. We know that if we ask for a Cabernet with earthy, musky flavors, we will get something more uniquely suited to our palate. The same is true of beer! Be specific. Try this equation: Ask for a beer using three descriptors: (1) the dominant flavor you crave + (2) a secondary flavor you would like + (3) a beer style. We hope this will = the beer you want. Examples: bitter + chocolaty + Stout; citrusy + grassy + Witbier; dry + sour + Tripel Belgian.
    Like sex, specifics are best. And also like sex, you probably know what you really like but are afraid to ask for it. Beer wants to know how hoppy, how bitter, and how spicy you want it. Are hints of pear good? Is the dry, orange-rind finish working for you? Some people are embarrassed about doing the “dirty talk,” so practice in the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say, “Nutty, chocolaty.” Or try it in your car on the way to work, in traffic: “Sour, spicy.” The more comfortable you get with the words, the more confidence you’ll have the moment the bartender looks at you and says, “What do you want?”

Beer Bar Book of Etiquette
    U nfortunately, people new to the beer world have a reputation for behaving badly in beer bars. From ordering to paying to tipping, some people just don’t seem to know the right way to conduct themselves. Perhaps there’s a disconnect because people feel out of place and are overcompensating. Whatever it is, we are here to put an end to it.
    Since neither Emily Post nor Queer Eye for the Straight Guy have sections on good beer manners, we’ve had to step up and fill in the void for beer bar etiquette. Here’s a guide of do’s and don’ts to help you mind your P’s and Q’s. Spoiler alert: Please be aware that after you read this, you’ll no longer be able to say that you didn’t know any better. We’ll be watching.
     
     
    ORDERING YOUR BEER
    D O ORDER A FLIGHT. It’s perfectly good beer manners to ask if the bar offers “beer flights.” These are usually found at brewpubs, where breweries want you to get a sampling of their beers. It’s also a great way to test your palate. Try tasting the beers without looking at the names. Find the flavors and try to guess which one is the Brown Ale, which is the Hefeweizen, which is the Stout, and so on.
    MIND YOUR P’S AND Q’S

    Haven’t you always wondered what the warning “mind your P’s and Q’s” means? Well, here it is: Mind your pints and quarts. This saying was used in England hundreds of years ago. The barkeeps would say this to patrons when they were getting out of hand, knocking over beers or being generally rowdy. It’s a nice way to say, “Watch your manners or you’ll get a boot in your ass, thanks!”
    Oddly enough, mind your P’s and Q’s also has ties to the sea because it was a method of keeping books on the waterfront. Back in ye olden times, sailors were paid a pittance, so seamen drank their ale in taverns whose keepers were willing to extend credit until payday. Since many sailors were illiterate, barkeeps kept a tally of pints and quarts consumed by each sailor on a chalkboard behind the bar. Next to each