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of such great importance in the world that one needed to get one’s knickers in a twist. The slender panic grass would continue to grow, and the orb of the sun would not cease its lethargic lob from horizon to horizon. It was a heal-all balm of a phrase, but there were times when it could be utterly infuriating.
    “That’s easy for you to say, old man,” said Siri through clenched teeth. “I don’t see your name on the lease. No,” he addressed everyone. “Changes have to be made here, starting today.”
    “Perhaps you’d like an orange cordial to help you cool down, uncle,” said lady of the night Gongjai.
    “I don’t want to be cool,” Siri replied. “I want my head as hot as I can make it so you understand I’m not just speaking for my own benefit.”
    “So you don’t want a drink?” Gongjai tried again.
    “I didn’t say that. I just don’t want you thinking it’s going to make me any calmer.”
    “Right, I’ll go and mix it.” She smiled. “And you, Madame Daeng?”
    “Please.”
    “Or you could have some rice whisky,” said Inthanet. “It’s not yet cooled off from the still but it – ”
    “Don’t tell me you’re brewing your own hooch here too,” Siri interrupted.
    Inthanet laughed. “Of course not, brother. Old Khout from the ice works brings it in payment for teacher Noo’s serm – for his meditation services.”
    The monk lifted his eyes towards heaven and smiled, showing his few remaining betel-ravaged teeth.
    Once everyone except Comrade Noo had a drink in front of them, Siri, seated beside his wife on his old wooden cot, called the house meeting to order.
    “Right,” he began. “Madame Daeng will be taking the minutes and will post them on the bathroom door when we’re finished.”
    Daeng held up her pen to show them it wasn’t an idle threat.
    “Rule one,” Siri continued, “no vulgar underwear visible at the front of the house.”
    Gongjai and Tong were about to protest, not at the rule, but at the description of their underwear. Their aunt settled them down and reminded them whose house they were staying in.
    “Rule two, down comes the spirit house.” There was a momentary mumble from Inthanet. “I have it on good authority that officials will soon be going from building to building registering spirit houses and we don’t want any more government people nosing around here than we already have. If there are resident spirits, apologize to them, and move it round the back where no one can see it.”
    “Rule three, no more religious services in, behind, or in the close vicinity of this house.”
    “I was merely – ” Comrade Noo began, “You’re hiding out, you damned fool,” Siri interrupted. The girls looked shocked. “You aren’t even supposed to be in the country. Even our own monks don’t feel safe performing services. I didn’t invite you to stay here so you could turn the place into the great Vientiane alternative temple. From today, you’re an inactive monk. You want to preach, you go back to Thailand.”
    “But – ”
    “There’s no but. You quit or you’re out. Rule four, where are the twins?”
    “In the refrigerator,” Inthanet said calmly.
    “What?” Siri felt Daeng stiffen beside him.
    “It’s an old one I found at the dump.” The puppet man put them at ease.
    Mrs Fah added, “We laid it on its side and converted it into a double crib. Very comfortable.”
    “They’re asleep,” said Tong.
    “Good, right.” Siri nodded to Daeng. “In that case, I need one of you to volunteer to register them at Births, Deaths, and Marriages as your own. We can’t have unregistered children here. It would be on a temporary basis, until they’re collected by their real relatives. I’d ask Madame Daeng here to do it but I think that might stretch credibility.”
    “We can do it,” said Gongjai, “me and Tong. We’ve been taking care of them since they got here.”
    Madame Daeng spoke up. “I don’t know, girls. There’ll