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proper time to familiarize himself with the interior. Turning the key was the easy part. Then he adjusted all of the comfort features, which fortunately included lots of heating elements. Finally, of course, the ultimate in driver distraction was the G63’s COMAND system with an 80 GB hard drive navigation system, Bluetooth, HDTV and Sirius radio. No wonder Apple and Google developed self-driving cars. Sarge would never use all of these gadgets. His rare 1968 Toyota OJ40, Bandeirante model, was more his speed. No frills, no thrills. The only thing these two vehicles had in common was a Mercedes-Benz engine. No fancy electronics in the Bandeirante, he thought. That might be a good thing someday.
    Pulling out of the garage onto Eliot, he fumbled with the COMAND system and nearly struck the back tire of a bicycle—the backpack and winter coat laden student long gone by the time Sarge took a deep breath and exhaled. See! This is what I’m talking about. Finally getting his shit together, Sarge managed to navigate south onto JFK without taking out any of the Kennedy School of Government’s student body. An adjustment of the COMAND volume brought the voice of his friend Neil Cavuto to life.
    “ Markets closed flat today amid continued uncertainty about whether Greece, Italy and Spain would reach bailout agreements with Eurozone officials. After the markets closed, a rumor swirled that a tentative agreement had been reached, which sent DOW futures higher. However, conflicting reports out of Frankfurt made by Deutsche Bank officials said otherwise, driving futures back to a negative position .
    “To discuss all of this, I have as my guest Jon Wellington with Barclays UK in London, how are you, sir?” asked Cavuto.
    “ I am chipper as usual, Neil, and glad to be on with you this evening,” said Wellington.
    “ What do you make of this news, and how does it affect the markets?” asked Cavuto .
    “All day long it was like watching a classic Wimbledon tennis match of troubles, with investors volleying between radio silence from a closed-door meeting amongst Eurozone leaders on the Mediterranean members and the brightening outlook of a cease-fire agreement in Ukraine. Markets would push higher on the positive reports out of Ukraine and then fall lower on the uncertainty surrounding the Eurozone trio of trouble—Spain, Greece and Italy. Add to that a late-day press conference from the President regarding his use of executive powers and you had one bloody day of jittery stock trading,” said Wellington.
    “ So what should investors consider as a plan of action?” asked Cavuto.
    “ Neil, markets like stability. As we have seen over the last five to six years, despite relatively sluggish growth worldwide, markets have risen to tremendous heights. Unfortunately, we are one bad news story away from deflating this incredible run for stocks,” said Wellington.
    “ I’m a ‘glass half full’ kinda guy, Jon. What would you suggest for those of us who espouse to the ‘glass half empty’ outlook on investing?” asked Cavuto.
    “ In my experience, a ‘glass half empty’ investor is typically cautious and is likely to sell at the slightest hint of a market downturn. Then there are those few daredevil opportunists who fearlessly attack a potential downturn to turn a healthy profit. They short sell,” said Wellington.
    Sarge was travelling south on Soldiers Field Road along the River Charles, enthralled by this conversation. His job dutiesdid not require managing investments. Those responsibilities fell on the shoulders of others. But it was important for him to understand the mechanisms of the markets and how it affected the geopolitical landscape. He passed Boston University, home of Rhett the Wet Noodle Terrier. Lame-ass mascot. He turned his attention back to the conversation.
    “ Short selling ,” continued Wellington, “ is the sale of a stock the seller does not own, but has merely borrowed. It may sound like an odd