front of the boatâit was a blowy day, white clouds flicking across the sky. She felt the breeze in her face and looked hungrily back toward England (her very first time leaving it) and forward toward France and thought she had rarely felt more alive.
- - -
âCome and have a coffee,â the message from Claire said on my phone. Sheâd been discharged, temporarily, and she sounded a little breathy, a little tentative, and I called her backâthis was one thing I could manageâto arrange for us to meet up in the cozy bookshop coffee shop, where I thought sheâd be more comfortable.
Her nice daughter-in-law Patsy dropped her off and made her promise not to buy too many books. Claire had rolled her eyes when she left and said she loved Patsy, but everyone seemed to equate being sick with being four, and then she remembered she didnât have to tell me that, and we cheered ourselves up by doing imitations of Dr. Ed sitting on the bed doing his empathizing.
Then there was a pause during which, in a normal conversation, someone would have said, âHey, you look wellâ or âYouâve cut your hairâ or âYou look healthyâ (code for âCor, youâve gotten fat,â as everybody knows), but neither of us could say anything. In the hospital, with its crisp white sheets and Claireâs neat, spotless cream pajamas, she didnât look well, but she seemed to belong there. Out here in public, she looked terrifying. So thin that she might break, a scarf tied artfully around her head that served only to announce âIâve had cancer for so long Iâve gotten really good at tying scarves,â a smart dress that would have looked rather nice if it had fitted her but clearly didnât as she was far too thin, and drawn-in cheekbones. She lookedâ¦wow, she looked sick.
I got up to go fetch us some coffee and some chocolate brownie cake, even though she had said she didnât want any, and I said she would when she tasted the homemade stuff they did in here. She smiled thinly and said, âOf course, that would be great,â in a way that wouldnât have fooled a horse. I was conscious of her eyes on me as I limped across the floor. I still wasnât at all confident with my stick and had basically decided to get rid of it. Cath kept trying to get me to come out, saying that everyone was dying to hear all about it, but that thought filled me with total horror. I did though desperately need to get my hair done. And some new clothes. I was in my daggiest old jeans and a striped top that had been absolutely no effort whatsoever, and it showed.
âSo,â she said when I was back. The lady had agreed to bring over the tray, thank goodness. We shared a look.
âWeâre like the old nagâs corner,â I said, and Claire smiled. The lady didnât. I think she was very concerned that we were about to throw up or fall over in her lovely café. The chocolate brownie cake was exceptionally good, though, and worth all the weird looks we were getting.
âSoâ¦â Claire suddenly flushed a little and looked excited. âI got a letter.â
âAn actual letter?â I said, impressed. I never got letters, just instant messages from Cath telling me some bloke was either totally fit or a right turd or both.
She nodded.
âWell, more of a postcardâ¦regardless. He said he does need a new factory worker, yes. And I know of an apartment where you could stay.â
I looked at her, totally taken aback.
âWhat?â
âWell, I didnâtâ¦I didnât think youâd actually do it,â I said, stunned and touched. âI mean, go to all that trouble.â
âIt was two letters,â said Claire. âI hope thatâs not your idea of hard work. Iâve talked you up quite dramatically.â
âUh-oh,â I said.
She smiled. âIt wasâ¦it was nice to hear back after all this