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rest of the afternoon, rocking back and forth, repeating Mother’s pledge over and over again,
“I’ll get you back. I’ll get you back.”
    That evening I couldn’t eat. In bed I rolled back and forth until I sat up clutching my knees. The Mother was right. I knew in my heart she would get me back. I stared out the window of my room. I could hear the wind howl through the tops of trees and the branches rub against each other. My chest began to tighten. I cried. I knew at that moment there was no escape for me.
    At school the next day I couldn’t concentrate on my work. I strolled around the schoolyard like a zombie. Later that afternoon I met Ms Gold at Aunt Mary’s home. “David, we’re going to court in two days. I need to ask you just a few questions to clarify our case. Okay, honey?” she asked with a bright smile.
    I refused to speak and sat rigidly at the far end of the couch. I couldn’t look at Ms Gold. To her dismay I muttered, “I don’t think I should say anything.”
    Ms Gold’s mouth nearly fell to the carpet. She began to speak, but I raised my hand, cutting her off. I then retracted as many statements as I could, claiming that I had lied about everything. I had caused all of the household problems. I told her that I had fallen down the stairs. I had run into doorknobs. I had beaten myself. I had stabbed myself. I then cried to Ms Gold that my mommy was a beautiful, kind woman, with the perfect flower garden, the perfect home, the perfect family, and that I craved her attention because of my other brothers. And everything was all my fault.
    Ms Gold became speechless. She scooted over to where I sat. She tried several times to reach out and hold my hand. I brushed her delicate fingers away. She became so frustrated that she began to cry. After several hours and many attempts, Ms Gold looked at me with dried streaks of tears and blotches of black eyeliner running down her face. “David, honey, ” she sniffled. “I don’t understand. Why won’t you talk to me? Please, honey.”
    Then she tried to switch tactics. She stood up and pointed her finger at me. “Don’t you know how important this case is? Don’t you know that all I talk about in my office is a cute little boy who is brave enough to tell me his secret?”
    I looked through Ms Gold and tuned her out. “I don’t think I should say anything else, ” I coldly replied.
    Ms Gold bent over, trying to force me to look into her face. “David, please …” she begged.
    But to me, she just wasn’t there. I knew that my social worker was trying everything in her power to help me, but I feared Mother’s wrath more than Ms Gold’s. From the moment Mother stated “I’ll get you back, ” I knew everything in my new world was lost.
    Ms Gold reached out to hold my hand. I slapped her fingers away. I turned my back to her. “David James Pelzer!” she barked. “Do you have any idea what you’re saying? Do you understand what you’re doing? You had better get your story straight! You’re going to have to make a major decision pretty soon, and you better be ready for it!”
    Ms Gold sat back down, wedging me between her knees and the end of the couch. “David, you have to understand that in a person’s life there are a few precious moments in which decisions, choices that you make now, will affect you for the rest of your life. I can help you, but only if you let me. Do you understand?”
    I again turned away. Suddenly Ms Gold sprang up from the couch. Her face became bright red and her hands were shaking. I tried to hold back my feelings, but a surge of anger erupted. “No!” I cried out. “Don’t you get it? Don’t you understand? She’ll get me back. She’ll win. She always wins. No one can stop The Mother. Not you, not anyone! She’ll get me back!”
    Her face went blank. “Oh my God!” Ms Gold exclaimed as she bent down to hold me. “Is that what she said to you? David, honey …” Her arms stretched out to embrace