alone on the couch. My mind raced with questions. I felt my insides turn to jelly.
My God! What have I done?
Days later, on a Sunday afternoon, while I was outside learning to play basketball, I heard the old familiar sound of Mother’s station wagon. My heart felt as though it stopped beating. I closed my eyes, thinking I was daydreaming. When my brain responded, I turned and ran inside Aunt Mary’s home and smashed into her. “It’s … it’s my …” I stuttered.
“Yes, I know, ” Aunt Mary gently spoke as she held me. “You’re going to be all right.”
“No! You don’t under … she’s going to take me away! She found me!” I yelled. I tried to squirm myself away from Aunt Mary’s grip so I could run outside and find a safe place to hide.
Aunt Mary’s grip didn’t budge. “I didn’t want to upset you, ” Aunt Mary said. “She’s just going to drop off some clothes. You’re going to court this Wednesday, and your mother wants you to look nice.”
“No!” I cried. “She’s going to take me! She’s going to take me back!”
“David, be still! I’ll be right here if you need me. Now, please, be still young man!” Aunt Mary did her best to calm me down. But my eyes nearly popped out as I watched The Mother stroll down the walkway with
her
four boys in tow.
I sat by Aunt Mary’s side. Greetings were exchanged, and like a trained dog I became my old self- the child called “It.” In an instant I went from an enthusiastic boy to Mother’s invisible house slave.
Mother didn’t even acknowledge my presence. Instead, she turned to Aunt Mary. “So, tell me, how is
The Boy?
”
I looked up at Aunt Mary’s face. She seemed startled. Her eyes flickered for just a second.
“David?
David is quite fine, thank you. He’s here, you know, ” Aunt Mary responded, holding me a little tighter.
“Yes, ” Mother said in a dry voice, “I can see that.” I could feel Mother’s hate burn through me. “And how does he get along with the other children?”
Aunt Mary cocked her head to one side. “Quite fine.
David
is very polite and extremely helpful around the home. He’s always looking to help out, ” she answered, knowing that Mother had no intention of talking to me directly.
“Well … you should be careful, ” Mother warned. “He’s tried to hurt other children. He does not get along well with others.
The Boy
is violent. He needs special attention, discipline that only I know how to instill. You don’t know
The Boy.”
I could feel the muscles on Aunt Mary’s arm become tight as a drum. She leaned forward, giving Mother her best smile -the kind of smile that Aunt Mary would like to slap Mother silly with.
“David
is a fine young man.
David
may be a bit rambunctious … but that’s to be expected considering what
David’s
been put through!”
Suddenly I realized what was happening. Mother was trying to gain control of Aunt Mary, and Mother was losing. On the outside my shoulders slumped forward, and I gave Mother my timid puppy dog look as I stared down at the carpet. But on the inside my ears became like radar, picking up every phrase, every syllable of the conversation.
Finally,
I said to myself.
Someone had finally put Mother in
her
place. Yes!
The more I heard Aunt Mary’s tone change toward Mother, the more my face lit up. I was enjoying this. I slowly lifted my head up. I looked right into Mother’s eyes. Inside I smiled.
Well, isn’t this nice. It’s about time,
I said to myself. As I listened to them, my head began to weave from left to right, then back again, as if I were watching a tennis match. Aunt Mary tried again to have Mother acknowledge me. I nodded my head at Mother as I openly agreed with Aunt Mary.
I began to feel extremely confident.
I
am
someone. I
am
somebody,
I told myself. I could feel parts of my body begin to relax. I was no longer scared. For once, everything was fine -right up until the moment I heard the phone ring. My head snapped to the