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actually had what it took to follow through. I spoke purely on instinct, allowing my feelings, not my intellect, to guide my words.
    She looked at me skeptically, her chin to her chest. “You have no idea what you’d be taking on.”
    “Maybe not, but you asked me to come because Jenny might need me.” I held my hands out to her, open-palmed. “So let me at least do something.” I had a difficult time understanding how my mother could be so adamant about Jenny having the child and hedge so much about bringing her home. It seemed I was offering her the perfect solution.
    “What about your job?” she countered. “Can you afford to take so much time off?”
    “Another baker is picking up my shifts. It’s no big deal.” This was true, I realized, and a little bit sad to think I was so easily replaced. I suddenly felt insignificant.
    She sighed. “I still can’t believe you left your practice. Your grandmother didn’t leave you an education fund to have you throw it away like that.”
    I felt compelled to defend myself. “I’m not throwing anything away. I’m trying out a different career.” I didn’t mention that I had been extremely thrifty with my education fund; I was still living off its remains. It was the financial cushion that had made my coming home possible. I stood up from the table, fingers splayed across its surface. “You’re trying to change the subject. We need to make a decision here. I want to bring Jenny home.”
    She still looked hesitant, so I tried another tack. “Do me a favor, okay? Just think about it. Don’t decide tonight. Sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning.”
    “Okay,” she agreed. Her eyes were tired. She stood as well, and we both retreated to our respective rooms, waiting silently for morning to come.

 
     
    •  •  •
    When I woke, the house was still quiet. I ventured into the dark hallway to call Shane before I talked to my mother. This time I caught him at home.
    “Hey, babe,” he said. “How’d it go with your sister?”
    I fingered the springy telephone cord, smiling. “Pretty well, all things considered.” I gave him a brief synopsis of the visit, then told him of my plan to stay and take care of Jenny until the baby was born.
    He was quiet for a moment, then spoke. “You’re staying four more months?”
    I held my breath tightly in my chest. “I can’t just leave her, Shane.”
    “What about your mom? She’s the one who wants Jenny to have the baby, right? She should be the one to take care of her.”
    “I know. And I’m sure once Jenny is home the maternal instinct thing will kick back into full force and we’ll take care of Jenny together.” As I said this, I realized my insistence on bringing Jenny home was hinged on this belief: that once I got my sister here, Mom would spring back into the caretaker I remembered and help me. All she needed was a little prodding.
    Shane was quiet until I spoke again. “Shane?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Are you mad ?” I asked, incredulous.
    He sighed. “No.”
    “You sound mad.”
    “I’m not mad, Nicole. But you’re always saying how screwed up your family is and suddenly you’re back living with them instead of me.” He sounded like a child who wasn’t getting his way.
    “It’s not like I’m leaving forever.” I made sure my tone reflected the annoyance I felt.
    “Four months is a long time.”
    I sank to the floor, my back against the wall, the textured plaster scratching me through my thin cotton nightshirt. “So you’re saying our relationship is over if I stay?”
    “Of course not. Look, I have to get to work, okay? You do whatever you feel is right, I guess, and keep me posted.” I felt dismissed.
    “Okay, I will.” I paused. “How’s Mooch doing? Does he miss his mama?”
    Shane snorted. “He’s fine. Shedding all over everything, as usual.” Moochie was a husky–German shepherd mix; his thick coat made up almost half his body weight.
    “If you brush him it’s