Read The Kryptonite Kid: A Novel for Free Online Page B

would break on your chest and you’d just laugh and say HA-HA IT TICKELS! And then you’d grab Jesus and fly away with him to a safe hiding place like maybe the Duck Rock. And then it would say THE END. And then me and Robert could take the comicbook to school and show Sister Mary Justin. Boy would she be surprised!
      
LOVE,
Jerry and Robert
      

      
    DEAR SUPER FRIEND,
      
    After school me and Robert was in Bacchio’s News Stand waiting for Mr. Durrelli to bring the latest SUPERMAN’S PAL JIMMY OLSEN and he was late. And we was really getting worried because maybe he had a accident or something and maybe his truck started on fire and maybe the latest SUPERMAN’S PAL JIMMY OLSEN NO. whatever it was gonna be got all burned up or something. And that would be really awful because then we’d have to wait until  they got more in and what if they NEVER got any more in? It was almost four thirdy and that’s why we was so worried because I had to be home by five to dump the garbage and so did Robert. We always have to do things like that and the dishes which I REALLY hate. And if he didn’t come pretty soon then we’d have to wait until tomorrow and I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight because that’s what happened once before when it snowed a hole lot and Mr. Durrelli’s truck got stuck on Shawmut Avenue and he never got there in time. It was awful. But it wasn’t snowing today and it wasn’t even raining and that’s why we was so worried. And Mrs. Bacchio kept looking at us looking worried. And it was going on five o’clock and Mr. Durrelli still didn’t come and Mrs. Bacchio was still looking at us and she was smiling. And then she said MY, YOU BOYS MUST SURE LIKE COMICBOOKS.
    And Robert said WE SURE DO.
    And I said YOU SEE MRS. BACCHIO, WE DON’T REALLY LIKE COMICBOOKS. WE JUST LIKE SUPERMAN AND SUPERGIRL AND SUPERDOG AND JIMMY OLSEN. THAT’S ALL. EXCEPT WE ALSO LIKE SUPERHORSE AND PERRY WHITE AND MA AND PA KENT.
    And Robert said WE SURE DO.
    And I said YOU SEE, WE DON’T LIKE DONALD DUCK AND LITTLE LULU BECAUSE THEY’RE FOR KIDS AND NOT US. AND BESIDES THEY DON’T FLY OR NOTHING.
    And Robert said THEY SURE DON’T.
    And I said WE DON’T MIND BATMAN AND WONDER WOMAN AND GREEN LANTERN AND FLASH AND PEOPLE LIKE THAT. BUT YOU SEE, WE DON’T HAVE VERY MUCH MONEY AND SO WE LIKE SUPERMAN THE BEST. THAT’S BECAUSE HE IS THE BEST.
    And that’s when Mrs. Bacchio laughed and said YOU  KNOW, I KINDA LIKE SUPERMAN MYSELF. And the reason I’m putting in all these BIG letters is so you can tell who’s talking easier. You’re welcome.
    And she’s the first big person we ever met who likes Superman, Superman. So I didn’t trust her. And neither did Robert. So I said OK, IF YOU LIKE SUPERMAN THEN YOU MUST KNOW WHAT CAN KILL HIM. SO WHAT IS IT?
    And she said JUST ONE THING. KRYPTONITE.
    And Robert said HEY, SHE DOES KNOW!
    And I said WELL LOTS OF PEOPLE KNOW THAT. So I turned to Mrs. Bacchio and I looked at her for a long time right in her eyes. And I said OK, IF YOU’RE SO SMART THEN TELL ME WHAT SUPERMAN’S REAL NAME IS?
    And she said YOU MEAN CLARK KENT?
    And I said NO, I MEAN HIS REAL NAME ON KRYPTON THAT HIS REAL MOM AND DAD GAVE HIM BEFORE KRYPTON BLEW UP AND HE CAME TO EARTH IN A ROCKET TO BECOME SUPERBABY AND SOMEDAY SUPERMAN?
    And she said THAT’S EASY.
    And I said THEN WHAT IS IT?
    And she said HIS REAL NAME WAS KAL-EL. AND HIS REAL FATHER’S NAME WAS JOR-EL. AND HIS REAL MOTHER’S NAME WAS LARA.
    And Robert said GOSH!
    But I didn’t say nothing because I still didn’t trust her. So I asked her a bunch of other questions like HOW DO YOU GET RID OF MR. MXYZPTLK!? And she said MR. WHO? And I said MR. MXYZPTLK! And she said OH, I THOUGHT IT WAS PRONOUNCED MXYZPTLK! And I said WELL ME AND ROBERT SAY MXYZPTLK! And so she told us.
    She knew the answers to EVERYTHING, Superman.  And she kept smiling at us. And she smiled real nice, just like all the saints