conversation on the air had appeared to touch a nerve. I glimpsed moments of guilt, embarrassment, and downright melancholy.
âWhen I was nineteen, I was asked to make the salad at my boyfriendâs parentsâ for Thanksgiving. I didnât know where to start, and they all made fun of me. It made me never want to try to cook anything ever again,â wrote one woman.
âI rely on boxed products because itâs easy, but I donât want to. I have NO idea how to butcher anything. I canât fillet a fish, cut up a chicken, etc. When I look at an artichoke . . . well, I just walk right on by,â wrote Cheryl, a thirty-three-year-old mother of two young sons. âIâd like to learn how to make ârealâ food, more food from scratch and what I have on hand, rather than pulling out a frozen pizza for my family.â
âMy mother never let me in the kitchen; she thought I was in the way,â wrote Shannon, thirty-two, also a mother of two. âWhen I read about little girls cooking side by side with their mothers . . . it makes me so sad for what I missed.â
Another wrote, âI grew up with a grandmother that could make a meal out of nothing and make it taste as good as any five-star menu. Iâve lived for years on frozen dinners and anything that is easy or fast.â She considered herself âaddictedâ to cooking shows. She watched them allâ Top Chef, Iron Chef, The Next Food Network Star, Alton Brown, Giada, Emeril. âBut then I am totally lost when it comes to knowing what to do when I try to fix anything. Iâve watched Gordon Ramsey while eating Tuna Helper. Iâm so ashamed.â
In the end, I selected ten people for what I began to refer to simply as âThe Project.â 8 They shared little in common in terms of background, except that they all identified themselves as a âpoor cookâ or an âaspiring cookâ who relied regularly on processed or fast foods. I told them little about what to expect, other than a few dates and times. I wasnât trying to be mysterious. I didnât really have a plan.
In retrospect, Iâm not sure what I was thinking. Iâm not an academic type or a researcher; I had taught only a couple of informal cooking classes. My thoughts on what lessons Iâd teach were murky. I would have to make it all up as I went along.
The first stop was a generic apartment building in the rustic former logging town of Granite Falls, Washington. After three hours, I climbed back into our Mini Cooper and leaned my head against the steering wheel. âWhat did I get myself into?â
CHAPTER 3
The Secret Language of Kitchens
LESSON HIGHLIGHTS:
What Really Lurks in Cupboards, Fridges, and Freezers
SABRA
âThis is what you call White Trash Garlic Bread,â announced Sabra, a lovely, fair-haired twenty-three-year-old young woman clad in a skin-tight blue shirt and strategically ripped jeans. âThis is one of the few things that I learned about cooking from my mother.â She slathered one-half of a soft hamburger bun with Gold ân Soft margarine, added a few hearty shakes of generic garlic salt, and topped it with dried Parmesan cheese from a can. After repeating the process with a half dozen buns, she slid the baking sheet into her immaculate white oven.
Sabra was the first volunteer I met. She shared an apartment in a basic but pleasant complex with her boyfriend in a sleepy former lumber town an hour north of Seattle. Her standard-issue kitchen was small but tidy. In the living room, a tiny kitten she had rescued the day before took halting steps on the black leather sectional, her occasional mewing competing with the big flat-screen TV tuned to a poker tournament that Sabra wasnât watching.
While the buns lingered under the broiler, Sabra alternated between sips of Red Bull and peach schnapps mixed together in an orange plastic tumbler while waxing poetic about her