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so much around boys so they might not know about the obsession, which is a good thing. You could keep it under wraps until you marry the guy and then, BOOM. Let out the truth about your weirdness.
    Oh. Okay.
    Why does it bother you so much that you don’t have a date? It’s just a dance. Who cares?
    It is not just a dance. Everyone is talking about it. And it’s only the beginning of the semester so it will get worse leading up to it.
    I don’t have a date.
    You have Danny. And anyway you CHOOSE not to have a date. I bet every boy in our grade would doanything to be your date to the Beatus dance.
    You have Danny too. We’ll go as a trio.
    What about the slow dances?
    What ABOUT the slow dances?
    We can’t dance as a trio!
    Why not?
    BECAUSE. That would look weird. How would you even do that?
    We could all hold hands in a circle and sway.
    Like some kind of cult? I don’t think that would go over very well.
    We could chant too.
    I can tell you’re making fun of me now. I don’t know whether you’venoticed but I am actually being serious.
    Why do you get so worked up about stupid things like this? It’s a DANCE. Only people like Sophie get worked up about stupid things like this.
    People like Sophie never get worked up about things like this. They don’t need to. She doesn’t need to ever worry about having a date. I bet she’s going with Brendan Dakers.
    Word on the street is that he hasn’t asked her. Anyway, forget about Queen Sophie. Why don’t you take Dog as your date?
    Ha! Jess, you really do have the most bizarre brain! As if that would even occur to me as an idea!
    You considered it, didn’t you?
    What?! You’re ridiculous. Of course I did not consider taking Dog as my date to the Beatus dance.
    You thought about putting a bow tie on him, didn’t you?
    This conversation is neither here nor there. Stop passing me notes please. Ms. Brockley is coming this way and I already have detention for a whole semester.
    I think there are lots of people out there who would date you.
    Really? You do?
    Lesson number one about making friends and finding a date for the dance: play it cool. Seriously.
    Got it. Should I write this down??
    I was mocking you.
    Oh. You should be clearer about things like that.
    I’m going to go away now.
    Okay! We can chat after class.
    You have detention, dummy. E-mail me when you’re home. Oh and, Anna?
    Yes?
    The only reason you wouldn’t be able to find a date to the dance is because no one in this school is good enough.
    Are you mocking me again?
    No.
    How can I tell?
    By asking me. I just told you I wasn’t mocking you.
    That was a very nice thing for you to say! Like seriously nice. Like a true best friend thing to say! You never say nice things!
    Don’t be embarrassing.
    I’m keeping that note forever.
    Don’t do that.
    I’m going to stick it in my diary. I don’t have a diary but I’m going to buy one ESPECIALLY so I can stick that note in it. And draw hearts around it.
    Stop this.
    And then one day I’ll blow it up into a poster and frame it.
    I would not put any of this past you. Leave me alone now. I’m not passing any more notes.
    Fare thee well, Jess! You are a true and wonderful friend who believes in me. I will spread your kindness far and wide. You have brought hope and love to a troubled soul. Bless you and your people.
    I strongly dislike you.

6.
    ANNA HUNTLEY’s LIFE GOALS
    Compiled with personal commentary in day one of detention
    Spring term 2015
    1. Be a better person.
    I will try to be nicer to people, like Dad, even when he’s being really annoying. And I will start doing nice things like talk to strangers on the street or something. I can ask them about their day and their ambitions in life. Although I will try to do this without coming across like a crazy person, like that woman on the bus who yells hello at everyone who gets on and actually just