Read The Heart's War for Free Online

of course,” Jeff said, leading her gently into the foyer. I listened to Marie rustling as she pulled on her shoes. The swish of cloth and some mumbling I took to be a hug between them. Then the door opened.
    “I’ll return before dark!” Marie said.
    Then Jeff came back into the dining room. He unbuttoned his collar and rubbed at his eyes before plopping back down into his seat. It weighed on him heavily, I could see.
    That infuriated me. If he felt as Marie and I did, why did he insist upon this idiocy of going to war! If only there were some way of convincing him, swaying him over to our line of reasoning.
    I wanted him to stay here so badly, as did his mother. Was his fool’s pride worth so much more to him than our wellbeing?
    “I know that look, Ellie. Yes, I still think this is the right thing to do. I can feel it, deep inside,” Jeff said, fixing me with a lopsided smile in some attempt to show his certainty. It might have worked it he didn’t run one hand nervously through his hair and wet his lips. With that bit of stubble on his cheeks, and the bit of skin I could see showing through his unbuttoned collar, he looked quite dashing. I leaned forward, closer to him.
    How dare he make me feel attracted to him at a time like that!
    Still, my righteous anger couldn’t slow down the quick tempo of my heart, or cool the sudden wave of heat that seemed to flow up through my body through some point low in my stomach.
    He let out a nervous laugh.
    “She’s left us alone in here. Can you believe it? Has she ever left us here like this, before? How wicked of her,” Jeff said.
    I sat up straighter, a realization widening my eyes. My fingers squeezed the armrests.
    Could it work? It could. It would. It needed to! My whole body positively tingled. I kept telling myself that it was to keep him here, to keep him safe. Not to satisfy some sinful urge.
    I had to work up more saliva so that I could actually get the words out. My heart wanted to burst from my chest.
    “Yes. Do you know what would be even more wicked?”
    “What?” he replied, distracted, his eyes peering at the wall but looking at something much farther away.
    “If we went to your bedroom,” I said.
    That did get his attention. He looked at me. “Ellie… if she came back and caught us…”
    “So you’re saying that you’re man enough to go fight a war, but not to show a room in your house to the woman you love?”
    This earned me a snort and a shake of his head. Rubbing at his stubble, looking at me cock-eyed, a slow grin spread across his face. He stood and offered me his hand. “Come on, then. Though I’m not sure what you’re so interested in seeing up there.
    The polished wooden stairs creaked beneath our feet. He tried to let go of my hand at the bottom of the stairwell, but I didn’t let him.
    He’s going to stay, he has to stay! I remember thinking that with each step. He wouldn’t refuse me. He couldn’t, not after he accepted what I wanted to give him.
    Upstairs, we went straight to his bedroom. Jeff threw up his door with a flourish.
    The open curtains showed a window looking out onto Victoria Street. The sun coming in showed a few particles of dust floating through the air and bathed his small, tidily made bed opposing the window. A few shelves built into the walls held his collection of pulp magazines and adventure books, and a wardrobe against the other wall held his clothing. A small desk with an inkwell was just enough to make the space feel slightly cramped.
    But the fresh air helped alleviate that sensation. The fresh air and my inability to think about anything but what was going to happen next.
    “As you can see, there isn’t really anything to see,” Jeff started, “Now how about we go back downstairs and start some tea…?”
    “Kiss me, Jeff,” I said, looking up into his face.
    I’d wanted to save myself until we were married, like was proper. But wasn’t potentially saving his life far more important than some