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Headmaster Upchuck. “Now, what movie star do you remind me of? Is it Tom Cruise? I love that button-down shirt. They have such nice bargains in the kids’ department, don’t they!”
    The headmaster ignored me. He stared at Gassy. “That’s a dog,” he said. “What is a dog doing in the classroom?”
    â€œIt’s Bernie’s!” Sherman cried.
    Mrs. Heinie rubbed her leg. “The new student is a dog, Headmaster Upchuck. Barry A. Bone is a dog!”
    The Headmaster thought about it for a moment. Then a big smile spread over his face. “Pets are not allowed in school,” he said. “That means I get to kick Bernie Bridges out. I get to send Bernie Bridges home!”
    He started to laugh. He tossed back his head and laughed till tears ran down his face. He did a little dance, his tiny shoes tapping the floor. “This is the happiest day of my life!” Headmaster Upchuck cried.
    â€œBut this isn’t my dog!” I cried. “I can prove it!”
    The Headmaster’s smile vanished. “Not your dog?Then whose is it?”

    â€œI’ll let you know in five minutes,” I said.
    He scowled at me.
    â€œJust give me five minutes, sir,” I said.
    He nodded. “Okay. Five minutes. Your last five minutes in this school! I’ll say good-bye to you in my office!” He turned and walked out.
    Feenman hurried over to me. “Bernie, what are you doing?” he asked.
    â€œI just thought of the grand prize for the raffle,” I told him. “It’s Gassy! The winner gets Gassy.”
    â€œBut, Bernie—” Feenman started.
    â€œDon’t you see?” I said, putting my hand over his mouth. “The winner will own Gassy. That means Gassy won’t be my pet any longer. So I won’t get kicked out of school.”
    â€œHow can you give Gassy away?” Feenman asked. “You love that dog.”
    â€œIt’ll all blow over,” I said. “Don’t worry. I’ll get him back.”
    I ran to the front of the class. “Okay, everyone—get out your raffle tickets!” I said. “I’m going to draw the winning ticket now.”
    I pulled the stubs from my backpack. Kids were pulling out their raffle tickets. Sherman was searching his backpack, looking for his tickets.
    â€œCheck your number, everyone,” I shouted. “The winner gets a beautiful bulldog! A bulldog of your very own!”
    I picked the winning ticket stub. “Here is the grand prize winner,” I said. “It’s ticket number 32489. Who has it? Check your tickets. Who wins the dog? Who has number 32489?”
    Silence. No one answered.
    â€œDudes, come on,” I said, checking my watch. “Who has the winning ticket?”
    â€œBernie—check your pocket,” Belzer whispered.
    My pocket? Oh, right.
    I pulled out the ten tickets that had fallen out of Sherman’s backpack. Now they were mine. And there it was right on top—ticket number 32489.
    I stared at the ticket. I gulped. I blinked. “I—I won the dog,” I stammered. “ I’m the…(sob)…lucky winner!”
    The kids began to boo and hiss. They thought the raffle was a cheat.
    Mrs. Heinie came running up to me. “Then the dog is yours, after all,” she said. She grabbed my arm. “Come with me, Bernie. I’m very sorry. But rules are rules. We’ll all miss you here at the Rotten School.”

Chapter 20
T HE H ONOR S TUDENT
    Mrs. Heinie dragged me to Headmaster Upchuck’s office. “The dog belongs to Bernie,” she told him.
    â€œSweet!” Headmaster Upchuck cried happily. He pumped his tiny fists in the air. “Yes! Yes! I can send you home! Sweet!”
    Then he froze. “Oh. Wait a minute.” He opened the big folder in his hand. He started to study it. “Oh, wait,” he said. “Oh, no. Oh, no.”
    His shoulders slumped. He let out a long