Read Everything You Want for Free Online

don’t.”
    “Okay, so now we can’t go to the Lounge
anymore because Ilana hangs out there?”
    “No, you can go anytime you want.  I
just don’t want to go there.”
    “What’s with you tonight, Kier?  You’re
being a downer,” Alisha said, twisting around in passenger’s seat.
    Shannon turned the radio down.  “No
offense, but she’s right.  Something wrong, man?”
    “I’m fine,” I said, leaning back in my
seat.
    “Is this about Ilana?” Alisha asked,
“Because, personally, I’m glad you’re done with her.”
    “No.  Kieran doesn’t get upset over
girls,” Ollie said.
    No, I didn’t.  Not anymore.  It
was a rule I’d made for myself years ago.  I didn’t get involved enough to
get attached, to get emotional.  Honestly, it was a rule I’d never even
been tempted to break.
    And then…Marissa. 
    It was one thing for me to fantasize
about being with Marissa.  It was another thing for me to actually be with
her.  And if she kept coming around, there was no way I could stay away. 
Of course I’d pretty much made it clear I wanted her to come back around, and a
big, sadistic part of me hoped she did.   
    Alisha looked at me.  She was still
waiting for an answer.  “It’s not Ilana,” I said.
    “Good.  She wasn’t good enough for
you.”
    We cruised down Beale in silence until
finally, Shannon pulled up in front of a crowded club.  He turned his head
to look at Alisha.  “Is this okay?” he asked.
    “Perfect.”  She smiled as he looked
around for somewhere to park.
    “It’s okay, right?” Shannon asked again,
this time directed at me.
    I really wished he wouldn’t do
that.  I knew he meant well, but I hadn’t touched a drink in four years
and it wasn’t like it killed me to be around it.  Besides, alcohol was
never really the problem anyway.  But nobody knew that.
    The club was packed.  The bass boomed
over the speakers, causing the air to vibrate.  Multi-colored lights
flashed over by the crowded dance floor.  After looking around for a bit,
we found a booth in the back.  Alisha immediately took off for the dance
floor and Ollie went to go get us something to drink.
    “Want something, Kieran?” he asked.
    “Coke, please.”  I propped my elbows
on the table and rested my chin in my hands.  I so wasn’t in the mood to
be there.
    A couple hours later Shannon dropped me
off in front of the apartment.  There were a lot of attractive girls at
the club, but I only danced with Alisha, because she asked me to.  Shannon
didn’t dance, so I usually stepped in for him when she needed me to. 
Normally, for part of the night, though, I’d go off on my own and find a girl
to spend time with, but I wasn’t in the mood to socialize.  I was still
thinking about Marissa, trying to figure out what made her different from
Ilana, and the one before her, and all the other girls I’d dated in the past
few years.  I couldn’t figure it out.  She was beautiful, but so were
the others.  Not like her, but they were attractive enough.  I had
thought maybe it was because of the fantasy of her that I had built in my head,
but she had come over and completely disproved that theory.  No, it was
just her, something about her.
    I looked over at her door as I unlocked
mine and sighed.  She was in there.  I had seen her car in the
parking lot when Shannon pulled in.  I wanted to see her, but it was
late.  I pushed the door open and frowned.  I told myself I wouldn’t
feel this way about anyone again, but she was addictive.
    I walked through the dark apartment to
the bedroom.  I crashed facedown on the bed, not even bothering to pull
the sheets back.  No sooner had I shut my eyes than my phone started
buzzing in my pocket. 
    It was two in the morning, and I had just
been with Shannon and Ollie.  I didn’t have to look at the screen to know
who it was.
    “What’s up?” I said, flipping onto my
back.
    “Did I wake you?” my sister asked, her
voice thick.
    I