cracked black shoes. Despite bow legs, the height was six foot three, and the frame was formidable. âIâm not,â the Rector had once complacently remarked, âthe type of thing you want to meet unexpectedly on a dark night.â
The Major said, âMorning, Rector. This is Padmore, whoâs here on a visit.â
âHow do,â said the Rector. âMorning, Fen. Whatâs that youâve got in that sack?â
âItâs a pigâs head. Mrs Clotworthyâs birthday pigâs head, actually. I picked it up from her porch this morning. She gave it me because Iâm an M.A.â
âPoor womanâs obviously getting a bit gaga,â said the Rector. âAh well, we all come to it, if we live long enough. I donât imagine I shall, mind, but most of us do.â
The terrified little man in grey said, âIâm from Sweb.â
âHow do you do?â said Padmore. âFrom
where?â
he asked.
âAcronym,â said the Major. âStands for South Western Electricity Board. They think that if they call themselves Sweb, donât you know, itâll make people look on them as friends.â He shook his head sadly at the thought of so much innocence exposed in a harsh world, like babies on rocks outside Sparta.
âDamn the man if he doesnât want to put up a pylon in my paddock,â said the Rector.
âThey want to put pylons everywhere,â said Fen.
âEvery effort is made to safeguard the amenities,â the man from Sweb said in a high, tremulous voice. â
Every
effort.â
âI can safeguard my amenities without any help from you, thanks very much,â said the Rector. âYou go and safeguard someone elseâs amenities. Oh, and by the way, now I come to think of it, since youâre in the neighbourhood you can look in at the Church Fête this afternoon. Do you a world of good.â
The man from Sweb smirked wretchedly. He was neat as a henbird, all in grey except for shoes and tie. Despite the warmth of the day he wore an overcoat and a homburg hat with a diminutive turned-up brim. His face was round and pink, a uniform clear pink like the inside of a young catâs mouth; his eyes were blue and protruding. He was clean-shaven. His little pot-belly kept his overcoat buttons occupied without straining them too noticeably.
âChurch Fête? I - Iâm not religious, Iâm afraid,â he managed to get out.
âIf youâre not religious, you do well to be afraid,â said the Rector. âHowever, weâve no objection to taking money from the heathen, Iâm glad to be able to say. If you canât get to the Fête, you can make your contribution to me personally, now.â
âI - Iâm afraid that at the moment itâs not - not quite convenient to - to -â
âTight-fisted as well as a heathen,â the Rector commented. âWell now, I hope youâre quite clear in your mind about this pylon proposal. I reject it.â
âY-you understand that we have p-powers to obtain a c-c-c-compulsory order,â the man from Sweb trepidantly squeaked.
âDonât you try threatening me, my man,â said the Rector, almost kindly. âIâve made my decision, and thatâs the end of that. So now be off with you.â He frowned slightly, apparently feeling that this peremptoriness ought in Christian charity to be softened a little, perhaps with a touch of light humour. âBe off with you,â he amended, âor Iâll chop off your feet with these shears, and leave you to run away on your bleeding stumps.â
At this, the man from Sweb gave a small, moaning cry, turned from them and stumbled out of the clearing. Diminishingly they heard him blundering into shrubs and hedges as he tried to find his way back to the gate.
âUncivil sort of a fellow,â the Rector remarked. âDidnât even have the elementary