say because he’s not used to looking at Mom’s ass that way and it makes his cheeks burn all over again. He wonders how his friends see her, because sometimes he’ll notice that some of their moms look pretty decent and he’ll entertain thoughts of them that involve anything but maternal activities and wonder if he’s suffering from an Oedipal Complex, once removed. Mom stretches the fabric of her dress taut over her rump and seems satisfied with the way it looks and he fleetingly wonders if she’s trying to seduce him, and fears that if she is and something happens, she’ll find out about the safety pins.
“No, I don’t think I do, maybe I just need to get serious about my tennis again.” She nods at her reflection and cinches the dress about her waist and hips. “Good thing I stopped at one kid.”
He leaves her standing there and hurries downstairs and finds last year’s high school yearbook and carries it into his bathroom and locks the door. He finds the picture of Tawny Bradley and drops to his knees while staring at the picture and frantically whacks off into the toilet and then flushes the evidence of his crime. As the remnants of his seed swirl downward, he wonders if any illegally aborted fetuses are down below, and if they feel anything, and if they do, if the sewer is anything like the womb.
*
He’s a sidewalk surfer, and Friday after school he rides his skateboard to the mall. As sometimes happens, he has trouble with the electric eye door openers at the main entrance. He thinks it’s kind of ha-ha funny and kind of weird funny, but lately they don’t want to open for him. He wonders if maybe they operate on the principle of scanning for personality instead of for bodies, and if he has problems because they don’t see his because it’s not really there. But he’s learned how to beat the system by holding up the wide flat top of his skateboard and that fools the sensors. In he goes.
He feeds a few quarters to the arcade and when he passes by Frederick’s he peeks out of the corner of his eye at the mannequins and what they’re wearing, and pretty soon he’s thirsty and gets a giant cherry Coke and takes it into the record store. He’s not supposed to have food or drink in here, but most of them know him so it’s cool. He’s in luck, Allison is working, and she waves to him from the checkout counter and he hears her tell her co-worker that it’s time for her break.
He’s known Allison almost ever since he can remember, because they grew up in the same neighborhood until Alex’s parents became more upwardly mobile than Allison’s, so it’s not like she’s a girl so much as that she’s just Allison. Her hair is magenta, and her face is as pale as a china doll’s and looks like she’s still about twelve years old.
She motions him to follow her into the back room. It’s off-limits to non-employees but the main manager is on vacation this week, she explains, so everybody has a grand time breaking as many rules as they can get away with, and Alex wishes he’d brought in some greasy food, too.
They talk for a while and then he gets bold and decides to share his secret with her because secrets that only you know aren’t really secrets at all, only obscure trivia. Allison will be safe. She does mushrooms with her father. Nothing surprises her.
“What do you think about this?” he says and tugs up his shirt to show her the carpet of safety pins.
Allison stares for a moment, then says, “I didn’t know you were into punk.”
“I’m not, really,” he says.
“Wow. It still makes a statement. Wow.” She reaches out and touches a few of them and her fingers are cool. “What are they for?”
He tells her how he puts in one per night and why he does it, and she nods and says, “It still sounds pretty punk to me.” So he tells her he didn’t get the idea from hardcore punks at all, even though it may look like it at first glance. Alex explains how back in the winter he