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fitting, or in any way distracting. Though you may not realize it, any physical distraction will use up part of your mental focus and impair your performance. It’s particularly important to ensure that your clothing is loose enough for you to breathe well and fully (this means you can take deep belly breaths, not shallow chest breaths). How well you breathe affects how much oxygen gets to your brain, and therefore how well you perform mentally.
    Admittedly, people may gain valuable confidence, and therefore charisma, from feeling that they look impressive even if their clothing is not comfortable. It’s really up to you to decide: is the discomfort worth the gain in confidence? Ideally, you should wear clothing that makes you feel both comfortable and highly confident in your appearance. Make sure you’re not sacrificing comfort in small ways that might actually be holding you back. You’re looking to get every advantage you can, right?
    One young man told me his eyes are so sensitive to sunlight that even when he explains the real cause of his facial tension, the people he’s with often seem to doubt his explanation. On a gut level, they still feel there’s a problem between them. His solution is to assess the room before sitting down to make sure he won’t be facing the sun or to ask to change positions as soon as the sun becomes a problem. Because he is aware of this problem, he can take action before it affects the way he’s perceived.
    Awareness is the second step in dealing with physical discomfort.Check in with your face from time to time; notice if it is tense. This is where the ability to stay present will help you yet again: the more present you are, the better your chances of noticing if your body language is showing tension.
    The third step is to take action. If you realize that something has created tension in your face,
do something about it.
Before others misinterpret it, try to remedy both the discomfort as well as the misinterpretation.
    Let’s go back to that conversation on the terrace, when the sun was in Tom’s eyes. Now you know that he shouldn’t try to ignore his discomfort. Instead, he could act to explain and remedy the situation. When it’s his turn to speak, he could pause for a second, hold up a hand (the visual cue helps), and say something like: “Would you mind if we move just a bit? My eyes are having a hard time with the sunlight.”
    When the physical discomfort can’t be alleviated, it’s even more important to prevent other people from taking your tension personally. Take a moment to explain that you’re in discomfort due to a particular issue. For instance, if you’re feeling irritated by constant nearby construction noise, explain the problem. Giving voice to something will generally allow both of you to move on from it.
    Mental Discomfort
    Though it originates entirely in the mind, psychological discomfort can play out through our bodies as well as through our minds. It affects both how we feel and how we’re perceived. Mental discomfort can result from anxiety, dissatisfaction, self-criticism, or self-doubt, all of which are forms of internal negativity, and each of which can handicap our personal charisma potential.
    Knowing how to skillfully handle mental discomfort is even more important than knowing how to handle physical discomfort. This is both one of the most challenging sections of the book and one of the most important. It may be difficult to process, but I promise you will benefit in the end. In fact, you’ll be much more powerful. You will have gained insights to put you ahead of the game, and you will havelaid a foundation of understanding upon which the next sections will build. So brace yourself, take a deep breath, and read on.
    Anxiety Caused by Uncertainty
    Have you ever had the awful feeling that you’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and finding sometimes that you’d rather hear bad news than be left in suspense? Let’s say you’ve