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excited a blush, which
she strove to cover by an affected laugh, assuring him, that she
scarce took any notice of what he said to her; but that she
believed he might once have been a very fine gentleman. The
readiness with which she undertook to vindicate herself, and her
blushing, were symptoms I did not internally approve; but I represt
my suspicions.
    As we expected our landlord the next day, my wife went to make
the venison pasty; Moses sate reading, while I taught the little
ones: my daughters seemed equally busy with the rest; and I
observed them for a good while cooking something over the fire. I
at first supposed they were assisting their mother; but little Dick
informed me in a whisper, that they were making a wash for the
face. Washes of all kinds I had a natural antipathy to; for I knew
that instead of mending the complexion they spoiled it. I therefore
approached my chair by sly degrees to the fire, and grasping the
poker, as if it wanted mending, seemingly by accident, overturned
the whole composition, and it was too late to begin another.

CHAPTER 7
    A town wit described. The dullest fellows may learn to be
comical for a night or two
    When the morning arrived on which we were to entertain our young
landlord, it may be easily supposed what provisions were exhausted
to make an appearance. It may also be conjectured that my wife and
daughters expanded their gayest plumage upon this occasion. Mr
Thornhill came with a couple of friends, his chaplain, and feeder.
The servants, who were numerous, he politely ordered to the next
ale-house: but my wife, in the triumph of her heart, insisted on
entertaining them all; for which, by the bye, our family was
pinched for three weeks after. As Mr Burchell had hinted to us the
day before, that he was making some proposals of marriage, to Miss
Wilmot, my son George's former mistress, this a good deal damped
the heartiness of his reception: but accident, in some measure,
relieved our embarrasment; for one of the company happening to
mention her name, Mr Thornhill observed with an oath, that he never
knew any thing more absurd than calling such a fright a beauty:
'For strike me ugly,' continued he, 'if I should not find as much
pleasure in choosing my mistress by the information of a lamp under
the clock at St Dunstan's.' At this he laughed, and so did we:—the
jests of the rich are ever successful. Olivia too could not avoid
whispering, loud enough to be heard, that he had an infinite fund
of humour. After dinner, I began with my usual toast, the Church;
for this I was thanked by the chaplain, as he said the church was
the only mistress of his affections.—'Come tell us honestly,
Frank,' said the 'Squire, with his usual archness, 'suppose the
church, your present mistress, drest in lawnsleeves, on one hand,
and Miss Sophia, with no lawn about her, on the other, which would
you be for?' 'For both, to be sure,' cried the chaplain.—'Right
Frank,' cried the 'Squire; 'for may this glass suffocate me but a
fine girl is worth all the priestcraft in the creation. For what
are tythes and tricks but an imposition, all a confounded
imposture, and I can prove it.'—'I wish you would,' cried my son
Moses, 'and I think,' continued he, 'that I should be able to
answer you.'—'Very well, Sir,' cried the 'Squire, who immediately
smoaked him,' and winking on the rest of the company, to prepare us
for the sport, if you are for a cool argument upon that subject, I
am ready to accept the challenge. And first, whether are you for
managing it analogically, or dialogically?' 'I am for managing it
rationally,' cried Moses, quite happy at being permitted to
dispute. 'Good again,' cried the 'Squire, 'and firstly, of the
first. I hope you'll not deny that whatever is is. If you don't
grant me that, I can go no further.'—'Why,' returned Moses, 'I
think I may grant that, and make the best of it.'—'I hope too,'
returned the other, 'you'll grant that a part is less than the
whole.' 'I grant that too,'