years it must be
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the equivalent of climbing the Copahue volcano or even the
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Payun Matru she hopes sheâs not doing something stupid Estéban
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kept saying you have to get help Mama you have to get help Iâve
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heard about someone whoâs supposed to be good go and see him
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Mama go and see him please do it for me she hopes sheâs not doing
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something stupid
Eva Maria stumbles.
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Vittorio was the right one she could tell straightaway his questions
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his answers and even their silences their disagreements she always
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felt at ease with him he was never inane or arrogant and never
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insidious when she felt like laughing it was a desire to laugh along
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with him not a petty desire to make fun of him or his interpretations
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the way she had with others that flash that said deep down you
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really donât get it do you man youâre way off the mark and you
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wonât see me again Vittorio always knew exactly and he taught her
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to see things from another angle a good angle itâs strange she
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always counts the steps going up but never going down she hopes
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sheâs not doing something stupid
Eva Maria stops to catch her breath. One hundred and nine steps. Still just as many. Not a single step has packed up and moved to a more illustrious staircase. Places are indifferent. Quick now, no one must see her. Eva Maria follows Vittorioâs instructions. She puts the smallest key into the lock, pulling the door toward her. The handle yields beneath her fingers. Eva Maria slips into the apartment. Quickly. She locks the door behind her. Fear makes her breathing short, irregular. She leans against the door. Her eyes adjust to the darkness. She stifles a cry. Someone is standing against the wall. Eva Maria swallows. Itâs a coatrack. It looks just like a man. Wearing a gray jacket. Eva Maria brushes against the jacket as she goes by. âYou! You gave me a real fright.â She opens the door to the study. Itâs the first time sheâs touched it. As a rule, Vittorio was sole keeper of the door; it was his way of marking a parentheses, opening and closing the door as his patients came and went. She sits down on the sofa. To collect her wits. She knows it so well, this plush seat. Eva Maria looks at the huge peacock opposite her. She could never have imagined Vittorio sitting anywhere but in front of that huge painting. Eva Maria recalls the dirty beige walls in the prison. She closes her eyes. Opens them. She would have liked to see Vittorio sitting opposite her, wearing his reassuring smile. Instead, it is the smile ofa seventeen-day-old crescent moon that is reflected in the peacockâs feathers. Eva Maria stands up. She follows Vittorioâs instructions. The little cupboard next to the heater. Behind his desk. Eva Maria gets down on her knees. She opens the door. She moves back to allow the moonlight to enter. Eva Maria can no longer follow