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years it must be
    twenty-one twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five
    the equivalent of climbing the Copahue volcano or even the
    twenty-six twenty-seven twenty-eight twenty-nine thirty thirty-one
    Payun Matru she hopes she’s not doing something stupid Estéban
    thirty-two thirty-three thirty-four thirty-five thirty-six thirty-seven
    kept saying you have to get help Mama you have to get help I’ve
    thirty-eight thirty-nine forty forty-one forty-two forty-three
    heard about someone who’s supposed to be good go and see him
    forty-four forty-five forty-six forty-seven forty-eight forty-nine
    Mama go and see him please do it for me she hopes she’s not doing
    fifty fifty-one fifty-two
    something stupid

Eva Maria stumbles.

fifty-three fifty-four fifty-five fifty-six fifty-seven fifty-eight fifty-nine
    Vittorio was the right one she could tell straightaway his questions
    sixty sixty-one sixty-two sixty-three sixty-four sixty-five sixty-six
    his answers and even their silences their disagreements she always
    sixty-seven sixty-eight sixty-nine seventy seventy-one seventy-two
    felt at ease with him he was never inane or arrogant and never
    seventy-three seventy-four seventy-five seventy-six seventy-seven
    insidious when she felt like laughing it was a desire to laugh along
    seventy-eight seventy-nine eighty eighty-one eighty-two eighty-three
    with him not a petty desire to make fun of him or his interpretations
    eighty-four eighty-five eighty-six eighty-seven eighty-eight eighty-nine
    the way she had with others that flash that said deep down you
    ninety ninety-one ninety-two ninety-three ninety-four ninety-five
    really don’t get it do you man you’re way off the mark and you
    ninety-six ninety-seven ninety-eight ninety-nine one hundred
    won’t see me again Vittorio always knew exactly and he taught her
    hundred-and-one hundred-and-two hundred-and-three
    to see things from another angle a good angle it’s strange she
    hundred-and-four hundred-and-five hundred-and-six hundred-and-seven
    always counts the steps going up but never going down she hopes
    hundred-and-eight hundred-and-nine
    she’s not doing something stupid

Eva Maria stops to catch her breath. One hundred and nine steps. Still just as many. Not a single step has packed up and moved to a more illustrious staircase. Places are indifferent. Quick now, no one must see her. Eva Maria follows Vittorio’s instructions. She puts the smallest key into the lock, pulling the door toward her. The handle yields beneath her fingers. Eva Maria slips into the apartment. Quickly. She locks the door behind her. Fear makes her breathing short, irregular. She leans against the door. Her eyes adjust to the darkness. She stifles a cry. Someone is standing against the wall. Eva Maria swallows. It’s a coatrack. It looks just like a man. Wearing a gray jacket. Eva Maria brushes against the jacket as she goes by. “You! You gave me a real fright.” She opens the door to the study. It’s the first time she’s touched it. As a rule, Vittorio was sole keeper of the door; it was his way of marking a parentheses, opening and closing the door as his patients came and went. She sits down on the sofa. To collect her wits. She knows it so well, this plush seat. Eva Maria looks at the huge peacock opposite her. She could never have imagined Vittorio sitting anywhere but in front of that huge painting. Eva Maria recalls the dirty beige walls in the prison. She closes her eyes. Opens them. She would have liked to see Vittorio sitting opposite her, wearing his reassuring smile. Instead, it is the smile ofa seventeen-day-old crescent moon that is reflected in the peacock’s feathers. Eva Maria stands up. She follows Vittorio’s instructions. The little cupboard next to the heater. Behind his desk. Eva Maria gets down on her knees. She opens the door. She moves back to allow the moonlight to enter. Eva Maria can no longer follow