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his enclosure collecting donations.
    ‘This show is only possible through your generosity and I thank you for your contribution of a gold coin if you enjoyed what you saw. You can also buy one of our emergency snakebite first-aid kits for ten dollars. All money raised goes back into the education of people about native animals and looking after the reptiles you’ve met here today. Thank you. Thanks. Thank you very much.’
    Nathaniel was pressing his way to the edge of the enclosure with his hand in his pocket. I thought about running away, I honestly did. I thought I’d just turn and vanish into the crowd, but Hoppy and Katie were there inside my head. I could see that this was as good a place as any to pretend I was confident. Pretend he was family. Act as though I wasn’t coming apart at a cellular level. I slipped through the crowd and took some coins from my pocket. Nathaniel was right against the railing waiting for Snake Man and his jingling hat to get to him. A space opened beside Nathaniel. I collided with a tattooed bloke in a blue singlet as I dived for it.
    ‘Sorry, love,’ he said.
    I squeaked sorry and adjusted my hat.
    I started rehearsing the casual comment I’d make when Nathaniel finally noticed I was there beside him. Hey I liked the show, didn’t you? The snake man was excellent, snakes still scare the hell out of me even though I’ve seen hundreds in my time, that sort of thing . Probably not the right time to mention that I’d cut the head off one in the shed. Maybe it would be more courageous to make a comment about him . Like your hat. God, your arms are brown. Can I touch your hair? Or should I keep it safe and simple . How’s the weather, hey? Did you see the alpacas? And how big was that draught horse’s . . .
    Nathaniel dropped his coins in the hat, turned and looked right at me. I dropped my coins but they rolled off the brim of the hat and my mouth hung open for a full second before my brain engaged.
    ‘Good,’ I stammered.
    ‘Pardon?’ Nathaniel said.
    I had to look away. I had to unplug before those eyes looked right inside me and found the truth bubbling around in there.
    I apologised quietly to Snake Man for dropping his money and he was gracious into his microphone.
    ‘That’s okay,’ he said. ‘I like it when people throw money. Thanks for your donation.’
    ‘Nate!’ someone called, and Nathaniel looked across the crowd.
    ‘Yep!’ he yelled back, and looked at me again. ‘You . . . staying around . . . later?’
    ‘I – I . . . ’ I said, gave up trying to speak and nodded unashamedly.
    ‘Might catch up with you then. Gotta go. Good to see you, Avril.’
    ‘Yeah, good to see you, too, Nathaniel,’ I said to the back of his head. ‘See you later.’
    Suddenly, I had to sit down. Sit down before I fell.

CHAPTER 08
    How pathetic was that? Getting weak at the knees as though my neighbour was some sort of country music star. I decided I’d head to the car for a bit of time out to get my head around what had just happened.
    I’d seen Nathaniel three times in the last five years. It was pure coincidence that those three times were in the same week.
    Nan was at the car. She was sitting on a camping chair under a big beach umbrella. Next to her was another old lady in a camp chair.
    ‘Hi Nan,’ I sang. There was a little bit too much springtime in my voice but I couldn’t control it.
    Then I realised she and the other lady were holding hands – until Nan snatched her hand back and sat on it. The other lady waved.
    ‘Hello, Av. Did you bring us a cup of tea?’ said Nan quickly.
    ‘Sorry,’ I chuckled. ‘They’d run out.’
    ‘Hogs wallop,’ she grumbled.
    The ladies exchanged a glance. Nan took a breath. The other lady nodded.
    ‘Where are my manners?’ Nan said. ‘Avril, this is my old friend Marilyn. Marilyn, my granddaughter, Avril Louise Stanton.’
    We shook hands. Marilyn wasn’t as old-ladyish as she looked. She had a grip like a fencing