Read The Book of Even More Awesome for Free Online Page B

helping us all keep strong as we keep motoring on.
    AWESOME!

The smell of an old hardware store
    Let’s go on a trip.
    It’s time to walk into an old hardware store and take a look around. There’s a dusty, paint-splotched radio playing oldies, a Cash Only sign above the till, and an old man with glasses and heavy plaid shirt leaning on the counter just daring you to ask him a question he can’t answer. As you walk past the tired vending machine with sodas below market prices you take a big whiff and bring back a brainful of love and memories with these gems:
    â€¢ Tires . Chinese chemical plants, hot liquid rubber, and the musty stench of cargo bays combine to form this mind-altering buzz. And when you cruise on by don’t forget to grab a free hand massage by rubbing your palm across all those tiny plastic hairy bits sticking out in all directions.
    â€¢ Those tightly packed piles of soil . Flopped sideways and drooping in all directions, don’t these bags always look like they’re about to burst at the seams? Well, I guess the problem is that some of them do, leaking their sweet-smelling brown-with-whiteflecks load all over the floor.
    â€¢ The key-cutting machine . If your hardware store is lucky enough to have a kid working away on a screaming key-cutting machine, then you’re probably sniffing in some oily machine parts and hot metal scraps flying in all directions.
    â€¢ Stacks of lumber . Decades of sun, water, and carbon dioxide help grow tiny seedlings in the sod into majestic giants of the forest. Now, even though they’re diced into bits, they’re still exhaling those deep woody, sappy-fresh scents.
    â€¢ Assorted old spills . Somebody kicked a can of paint thinner under Aisle 3 fifteen years ago and now its faintly toxic aroma is hanging limply in the air along with metal nail dust, shiny tools, and plastic snow shovels.
    â€¢ Big plastic bins full of tiny parts. It’s fun running your hand through hundreds of drywall screw holders, rubber faucet seals, or those plastic things you sometimes see in bricks.
    As you walk down those creaking wooden floors, through dusty sunbeam rays shining over dirty floor mats, don’t forget to let that jingle-jangly door clang shut on your Saturday-morning sniff down memory lane.
    AWESOME!

Putting on your most flattering pair of pants
    Just slide smoothly into that second skin and get ready to rock the streets with your perfectly wrapped package . Yes, it’s time to shake that booty and get ready to look great, girlfriend.
    Suddenly chubby legs get the trim-down treatment, saggy flabs get toned , and all the dark creases crinkle in just the right places and just the right spaces.
    See, we all have that one perfect pair of pants that fits us best. And we all know how it feels throwing them on before heading out.
    AWESOME!

That guy who helps you parallel park
    I suck at parallel parking.
    Honestly, just look at me out there: tire-scraping, curbbumping , seven-point turning in the middle of the busy downtown street. Yes, that’s why I always breathe a massive sigh of relief when someone stops by to lend me a hand:
    1. Airport Crew Chief. Strap a neon vest and giant earmuffs on this gal because she’s straight off the landing strip. If you’re lucky she’ll stand in your side mirror and use that beautiful two-hands-gettingcloser-together technique.
    2. The Extremist. Dude’s an extreme screamer with no middle ground. Some of his favorite lines are: “Back back back back back ba—STOP!,” “Whoa. Whoa! WhoawhoawhoaWHOAWHOOOAH!,” and “Lots of space lots of space lots of—you’re on the curb.”
    3. Mr. Measures . This guy’s straight outta the classroom and all about the accuracy. He’ll be dusting chalk off his hands while inspecting your bumper and calling out, “You’ve still got four inches.”
    We sure do love these kind sidewalk souls.