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be clear about where we stand.”
    “Believe me, we’re clear. Just forget I asked
about it.”
    “I don’t mean to upset you or nothing.’”
    “I’m not upset. A little confused,
maybe.”
    “ I told you before, this
doesn’t have nothin’ to do with you. I have to get my life straight
before I can share it with someone else.”
    “That’s what I don’t understand. From what I
can see, you have a stable job, your making progress in your career
goals, you go to church and you have lots of friends. How much
straighter can it get?”
    “It’s not that simple. I got a lot of
personal things I need to work out.”
    “Was your last relationship that bad?”
    “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not get into
it.”
    “Even with me?”
    “Don’t take it personal, Miko. You’re a nice
person, but I can only lean on you for so much. Some things gotta
be between a man and God. I know there’s probly things that you
think you can’t talk to me about.”
    “Not really.”
    “Not even your female stuff?”
    “What do you mean, female stuff?
    “You know. Things that women talk about with
other women.”
    “I don’t get it.”
    “In a way, I guess you wouldn’t. I kinda
noticed you don’t have a lot of female friends. Right or
wrong?”
    “Wrong! Very wrong! I have a number of female
friends. There are the other teachers at my job…”
    “I’ve never seen you hanging out with them
and you don’t bring any of them around. None of them are your
besties.”
    “Allen has a cousin who is a female and we’re
really close friends.”
    “How come I’ve never seen her?”
    “Because she lives in North Carolina…”
    “North Carolina! Miko, that’s not a best
friend, that’s a pen pal. You need to get you some girls in the
city to hang out with. Some ladies you can chill with and talk
about things with.”
    “Wait a minute, why would you suggest I start
hanging with a bunch of women? Unless this is your way of saying
you don’t even want me hanging out with you and the guys
anymore.”
    Tamiko’s defensive reaction made Davis regret
his words. She made it seem as if he was patronizing her, which was
not his intent.
    “Nah! Nah! All I’m trying to say is - that
just like you spend time with the guys, you could spend time with
your girls, too.”
    “Or just spend less time around you, right?
If you don’t want to be friends anymore just say so.”
    “ Miko, believe me, I really
like having you as a friend and I want to continue to have you as a
friend, but I think us being up under each other all the time is
gonna mess that up…especially since I can’t give you what you
really want from me right now.”
    “I see.”
    “I’m not tryin’ to hurt your feelings and I’m
not tryin’ to de-friend you. I’m just trying to be honest. I think
we should try to give each other some space for a little
while.”
    “Fine. I appreciate your honesty and I hear
you – space granted. Anyway, it’s getting late and I know you’re
tired. How about we wrap things up for tonight?”
    “Aiight. I’ll get the bill and we’ll head
out.”
    “Sure.”
    “No hard feelings?”
    “Not at all.”
    Despite Tamiko’s attempt to appear
nonchalant, Davis could see the hurt on her face, and it made him
hate himself. Unfortunately, he had no choice. It wasn’t that he
didn’t trust her as much as he couldn’t trust himself. There was no
way that he could give himself to her or anyone else given his
past. The pain he was inflicting on her now was way less than the
pain he was trying to shield her from.
     

 
     
    Four

     
    “ How was the movie?” asked
her father when she came in. He had been waiting up for her, as she
had expected.
    “It was good,” said Tamiko. She hastily hung
up her coat, and rushed toward the staircase to keep her father
from continuing his interrogation. As always, her dad could always
sense when something was amiss, however, Tamiko did not feel like
having one of their