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father-daughter conversations. She just wanted
to be alone.
    “You sure, baby girl?”
    “Of course. I’d stay and talk, but I’m
feeling wiped. I just want to go to bed,” said Tamiko as she
hurried up the stairs.
    Once she was in her room and the door was
closed, Tamiko kicked off her heels and collapsed onto her bed,
face up and stared dejectedly at the ceiling.
    “Now Davis can’t stand me and it’s all my
fault,” Tamiko thought to herself. “I should’ve never told him how
I felt about him”
    Since the day she met Davis there was not one
moment when she doubted that they would make the perfect couple.
For the first time in her life, she had met someone who was
good-looking and Christian at the same time – a real Christian.
Davis’s walk seemed to match his talk. In the beginning, they grew
close very quickly. They spent a lot of time together and it seemed
that Davis enjoyed her company. Tamiko was certain that he was
falling for her as fast as she had been falling for him. So when
she gathered enough courage to suggest they become a couple she was
certain beyond any doubt that he would be interested. Instead, she
got the ‘let’s just be friends’ speech – sort of.
    Davis had told her that, while he liked her,
he didn’t know if he was ready for a romantic relationship. He
needed time to sort some things out. It wasn’t an out right
rejection and he did say that he liked her, so she remained
hopeful. At the time, Tamiko felt that she would just wait until he
was ready. Time would be her ally instead of her enemy. In the
meantime, she’d be there for him when he needed her. She’d show him
just how loyal and faithful she could be – like any potential wife
should be. If he were stuck at home feeling sick, she’d make sure
to stop by and drop off some homemade soup. Several Sundays she
tried cooking some of his favorites for dinner: red rice and beans
with chicken, pernil, pasteles, pigeon peas and rice. Then there
were the little romantic rendezvous she would set up, so they could
get to know each other better: projects at church they worked on
together, walks through the park, and the occasional movie or
museum trip. Tamiko thought these things would show him how much
she cared about him and would make her endeared to him. She never
thought it would annoy him. His exact words were ‘they were up
under each other all the time.’ It made her think of the things her
mother used to say when she got annoyed and didn’t want her around.
“Tamiko, I can’t get my work done with you up under me like this!
I’m taking you to Momma Lena’s!” Then he had to go and suggest that
she make new female friends. It seemed to Tamiko that she’d been
dumped again, and this time, she hadn’t even gotten the chance to
date the guy.
    Tamiko had never fared that well in
relationships herself, having received as many romantic pink slips
as she had doled out. She’d never had a boyfriend longer than a
half a year before it was over. Most of the time she’d blame the
guy. Since she’d dated a few non-Christians, several of them broke
up with her because she wouldn’t sleep with them. Others were
Christian beaus who broke up with her for basically the same
reason, or because they didn’t find she was submissive enough. They
were obvious write-offs. But now, it seemed she’d turned Davis off.
Davis wasn’t some non-believer or a jerk. He was actually Tamiko’s
ideal guy: genuine, honest, caring, of good character, he shared
her faith and her values, and he was incredibly handsome. She
thought they would be the perfect couple, but the fact that Davis
didn’t seem to think so, made her doubt herself.
    “Maybe there’s something wrong with me. Maybe
I’m too self-involved? What if he thinks I’m a complainer? I was
going on a bit about work. I didn’t mean to be negative. Maybe I
was too overbearing. Why else would he ask for space?”
    After a few minutes, she got up from where
she lay and began to