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Hodge so special?” the director asked. “He does not look special. Compared to many of us, he looks quite ordinary. He possesses absolutely no qualities to distinguish him from the crowd. He might pass you by on the street without you being aware of his existence.”
    The assembled masses studied Lenny with deep frowns on their faces, as though they were judging him and finding him less than adequate.
    Ms. Siggenbottom kept on talking. “All of that does not matter. It is not so much who Mr. Hodge is, or what he looks like, but what he can do.”
    Lenny was suddenly very aware of Lenore. She stared at him from her seat to his left, her eyes boring their way into his skull—as though she already knew what the heck Ms. Siggenbottom was going to say.
    â€œMr. Hodge,” the older woman said. “You have the advantage over many of those seated here today. For a rank beginner, you have a lot of experience. For example—” She paused to smile at her audience. “We know how you survived that bizarre lemming migration outside of Minneapolis.”
    The lemmings? Lenny had nearly forgotten about them. And all that time, he was supposed to be in St. Paul.
    â€œEvents like that do not happen to everyone,” their leader continued. “In fact, they hardly happen to anyone at all. Except for you, Mr. Hodge.”
    She pointed at Lenny. “You do remember encountering those dancing mole creatures in the Mississippi Delta? Performing
Swan Lake
?”
    Well, of course he did. But what of it? Anybody could have seen that. He just happened to be standing there when it happened.
    â€œYou just happened to be in the right place,” Ms. Siggenbottom agreed. Lenny looked quickly at Lenore. Did everybody know what he was thinking?
    â€œI hardly have to mention that waterspout off the coast of France,” the older woman added.
    Lenny’s mouth fell open. Until now, he had been sure that mermaid had been his imagination. A chill passed through him. Maybe there was something to what Ms. Siggenbottom was saying.
    â€œWe don’t have time to delve into any of the many, many other amazing occurrences. You have had a very active life, Mr. Hodge. If you have ever thought about it.”
    Thought about it? Lenny didn’t, all that much. He was always worried about making a little money, or whether or not he would ever get a steady girlfriend. Whenever his life got really bad, he would shut out the world and work on his stamp collection. And now, even his stamps had suffered! Things always
did
happen around him. Maybe not thinking about it (stamps included) was nothing more than a defense mechanism.
    â€œIt is a strange gift, Mr. Hodge,” Ms. Siggenbottom agreed. “It could even make a person go crazy—unless there were a very good reason for it.”
    Lenny nodded. A very good reason? He would certainly like to hear it.
    â€œMany of those in this room make things happen, Mr. Hodge. But you are the only one, to my knowledge, that
has
things happen all around him, all the time. There are those among us who can call thunder and lightning from the sky. But only you, Mr. Hodge, by your very being, can cause the lightning to come to him.
    â€œThings happen everywhere, every day, Mr. Hodge. But you are a one-person human happening, and everything we need to happen will happen to you! With you in our employ, Mr. Hodge, Terrifitemps will triumph!”
    Lenny heard shouts and cheers. Everyone around the table rose together to give him a standing ovation.
    Lenny guessed that meant he really couldn’t leave.
    Ms. Siggenbottom stopped clapping. The rest of the audience stopped an instant later.
    â€œI know that this is a lot of information for you to process, Mr. Hodge. You have only now become aware of your abilities. You will only be able to learn to use them through experience. That is why I have assigned you to our most experienced team of agents. We are,