but he didn‟t like it. Money always seemed to be there when he wasn‟t. Not only that, but Angel was cool with him which made him look even better in Asjiah‟s eyes.
“I don‟t have time for this shit right now Corey; A‟ is upstairs bout to kill my seed and you‟re whining; you‟re so fucking inconsiderate.”
“Incon…”
Before she could finish, the phone went dead in her ear.
H ow did I end up here?
I was still in shock that CJ even uttered the words abortion. I didn‟t expect him to be ecstatic about my pregnancy but I thought he would get over it in time and come to accept it. Hell, I didn‟t know how I was going to take care of a baby neither but I knew I was going to try. I had already lost too much, too many people; I wasn‟t going to allow my child to be another one.
The door opened interrupting my thoughts and Mary Poppins entered; she was the psychologist? Great, I have to deal with her again.
She sat behind the desk, pushed her glasses up to her nose and cleared her throat before speaking.
“Ajeeiah.”
“It‟s Asjiah. Like the country.” Minus ten; she was already off to a bad start.
“Oh, I‟m sorry. Well Asjiah; my name is Dr. Phillips and I wanted to ask you some questions before we go any further with the process.
“ Process , you call killing an unborn child a process?” I could feel the baby shift to my right side. I placed my hand against it in an effort to calm things down.
“Now, now young lady; there is no need to get upset. I just need to know if this is really what you want to do. I know a lot of times girls get bullied into these situations because the person they are with, or their family, thinks it maybe the right thing to do; but it isn‟t about them. It‟s your body; therefore it‟s your decision.”
She was right. It was my decision yet I had allowed CJ to convince me that we didn‟t need a child right now, that we weren‟t ready for the responsibility. What about what I thought?
“So is this what you want to do?” Ms. Poppins stared back at me with her hands folded and waited for me to respond.
My first reaction was to say; bitch does it look like this is what Iwant to do? But I couldn‟t; I knew I should‟ve said no. I knew it was wrong. The baby gently kicked my side as a signal to tell me to speak up but I couldn‟t. I was scared.
I knew Marie would have a field day with this if I came home with a child. Would she put me out once she found out I was pregnant? What would I do then? I had already lied and told her that my housing had been screwed up so I had to sit out a semester. What would she say if she found out the real reason I wasn‟t going to school was because I was pregnant?
“Asjiah?”
“Yes.”
“Yes; is that your answer?”
Tears began to pour down my cheeks and my heart felt like it was in my throat. What had I just agreed to? I had just signed my child‟s death certificate. I placed my hand to my swollen belly and instead of kicking; there wasn‟t any movement at all. I‟m sure it was aware of what was about to happen.
Chapter Six
CJ watched her as she slept peacefully in the backseat. She had this thing she did with her lips, it looked as if she was pouting or waiting for someone to kiss her. She looked so angelic, so peaceful. Amidst all the chaos that was surrounding her, he was glad that he could finally take her away.
Girls like Asjiah were rare. Smart, ambitious, sexy, caring, loving, but street at the same time. With everything he had put her through she still stood by his side. Loyalty was a trait not many people had but once Asjiah pledged hers to you; she was down for you no matter what.
He just needed her to wait, that‟s what the ring was for; to symbolize a promise that once he was ready, he would come back to her. Sure it was selfish to ask her to sit on the backburner until he got his shit together but he couldn‟t allow someone else to wife her.
He made the mistake of cheating with Corey; he never really broke