no way,” he groaned.
“There has to be.”
“But I love you .”
I slitted my eyes at him. “Sorry, dude, but that train left the station a long time ago. Remember, I broke up with you? Years ago.”
“But you still love me,” he slurred, heavy eyelids at half-mast. He knocked my feet aside and tumbled forward, landing on his belly. His head plopped into my lap. “I can tell,” he said to the pillow, the only thing between my crotch and his face.
“No. I don’t.” Gripping the pillow like it was a life preserver, I grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled, forcing his head up. “I don’t love you. I love what I wish you could become.”
“What’s that?” He blinked in slow motion. “I can change.”
I let go of his head, snatched up another other pillow, and swung it hard, at his head. I didn’t wince when it clobbered him. He deserved it. He deserved a hell of a lot more for even thinking about leaving Ransom.
My best friend was in the hospital. She’d just given birth to this bastard’s kid. And he was trying to hook up with me?
“Change for Ransom, you asshole. Change for your daughter. Don’t change for me!” Still holding the pillow against myself, I wriggled and squirmed to the side of the bed and then ran, as fast as my drunken legs could take me, to the bathroom and locked the door.
Then, overwhelmed by everything, I slid to the floor, my back scraping against the back of the door, and cried.
What was I going to do now?
Should I tell Ransom? Should I keep my mouth shut and pretend like nothing happened? Should I wait and see if it was just the wine talking?
Ransom and her beautiful little baby deserved so much better than this. But the thought of hurting her made me feel like throwing up. And what if she didn’t believe me? After all, she knew about my history with John. What if she thought I was making this up to try to break them up?
Shit. This was a no-win situation for both of us.
And it was his fault. John’s.
Men sucked.
Chapter 5
I did not sleep. Not a wink. By morning I was sober. But that was the only thing I could say about the way I felt. I was tired. It felt like my fucking head was going to explode. And I was furious.
Somehow I had to get myself together before Ransom and her baby arrived home.
Caffeine was the first thing on my must-have list, second only to aspirin. It smelled like someone had already started the coffee. At least John had managed to do something right.
As I moseyed downstairs to the kitchen, wearing way more clothes than I needed, considering the heat, I silently rehearsed what I would say to John when I saw him. I wanted to beat his ass and tell him what an idiot he was. But I knew that wouldn’t do any good. So I’d spent all those sleepless hours planning out what I would say to make him change his mind about leaving Ransom. I hoped it would work. And, naturally, if it did, I was moving out. Immediately. He didn’t need me there, distracting him.
As far as ditching Ransom when she needed me, that was going to be tough. She was going to be furious. But a girl had to do what a girl had to do. It was more important to save my best friend’s marriage than to help her change a few diapers.
John was sitting at the table, staring at the wall. He looked like hell. His hair was a mess.
His bloodshot eyes met mine.
“Rough night?” I said, mockingly as I poured myself a cup of liquid-bliss.
“Yeah. About last night—“
“If you’re going to say anything but ‘I don’t know what the hell I was thinking’ then I don’t want to hear it.”
Silence.
So it wasn’t just the wine talking. Shit. My heart slid to my toes. Was I going to be able to fix this?
I cleared my throat. It was time for the speech. And it had better work.
I set down my cup of coffee. “Look, I’ll be the first to admit that Ransom has been a bitch to deal with the last few weeks,” I began. “But she was pregnant. She wasn’t herself.