“Girl calm down, you’re like one of those little annoying yappy dogs…on crack I might add. What the hell did you think we were meeting you at your car for?” Keisha starts to laugh at me as well.
“Whatever, you two can laugh all you want. Why don’t you try being out of school for three weeks, living in total hell. You’ll act like a cracked out Chihuahua too.” I took a moment to take a breath and smooth out my psycho smile as I exhaled.
“Okay, okay, I’m calm, I’m fly, and I’m worthy. Now tell me the fucking scoop!”
“Girrrlllll, I don’t know about all that shit you just listed off. Calm, fly, worthy…what the hell is wrong with you. Amber, sometimes I swear you scare me. Have your parents taken you to a shrink lately because you totally need some one on one time with a doctor. Preferably, a hot doctor in his twenties with a banging body.” I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh. Emily has always been a smart ass.
“I wish! For real, what’s been going on?”
“Wellllllll,” Keisha, dragged out that one word, that one word that held so much promise. “We have a new student that enrolled right after your suspension.” She let that sentence sit there to hang and marinate for a few seconds. The look on her face spoke volumes; she wanted me to pry the rest of the story out of her.
“And?” I said exacerbated because she didn’t give any more information than that.
“And, he’s mine!” Emily piped up.
“Girl, you are delusional!” Keisha said this with a smile. “Amber you should have seen it. Miss. Beautiful bodacious Emily, comes swaying her sweet ass up to Chase. Oh, I forgot to tell you, his name is Chase…Chase Mitchell. So anyway, here comes Emily with her hoochie choochie come get me walk and stands by Chase’s locker to introduce herself.”
“Shut up Keisha! I’ll tell the fucking story myself, thank you very much. Anyway, I introduced myself to him that’s all. Period! End of story!” Keisha’s laugh was so unexpected I jumped because of the suddenness of the outburst.
“Girl, he looked at you and said hi as if you were an annoying mosquito and walked away. He hasn’t said shit to you since.” Keisha extended her left arm and smacked it with her right hand as if she were swatting a fly. “Poof, you’re gone!” Keisha said, continuing to laugh at Emily.
“You know what Emily? Every guy doesn’t want you. Obviously, this Chase fella is one of them.” I was trying to give my girl a little sisterly advice.
“Ain’t that the truth!” Keisha said adding her two cents.
“Fuck all the advice from the peanut gallery. I really don’t care to listen to any of this crap right now. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I mean, how can any guy turn this down?” She had the nerve to spin around for us. She begins to run her hands over her assets, her ass being the main asset she’s focusing on at this particular moment.
“I’ve come to the conclusion that he must be gay. Which means, Amber, I’ll graciously hand him over to you.”
My mouth gape open at that. Number one, how can you give something away that’s not yours for the giving? Number two, because this man is not interested in her ASSETS she automatically comes to the realization that, he is gay! Number three, do I fucking have a gay magnet tattooed on my forehead?!
“What the hell do you
David Roberts, Alex Honnold