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firmly on your hips. Instead of bounc-94
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    ing all over the place, have him “rub” you forward and back on his shaft. This requires much less energy on your part, and you won’t feel like a Pop-Tart. When you’re ready for climax, go back to the up-and-down, because that’s what really gets him off.
    Please Remain Seated While Aircraft is in Motion Your sexual arts need not be practiced only in the bedchamber.
    If the guy sits on a comfortable chair or sofa, try your thigh-squat position facing either toward or away from him. Both of you will like this because it’s so comfortable. Just don’t let him get his hands on the remote control, or he may end up watching the football game instead of paying attention to you.
    Our friend Don, a chef, once dumped a girlfriend because she refused to have sex any place other than a bed. Maybe it was because of his profession, but for whatever reason, he was obsessed with doing it on the dining room table. When she said no, he tossed her out like last week’s lunch special. What is this about kitchens and dining rooms, anyway? We know two guys who had a hot hookup—really hot—because appar-ently they did it on the stove. If your guy wants red-hot sex, that’s fine with us, but stay away from the burners or you might end up as Stove Top stuffing.
    One final note: Beware of rough surfaces. As you bounce around on the floor, the sofa, the chair or whatever, keep in mind that even the softest Oriental carpet can leave bad brush burns on elbows and knees.
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    “A BACK DOOR GUEST IS ALWAYS BEST”
    That line is on a plaque outside the back door of a friend’s parents’ house. For some reason, we always get a little chuckle out of it, considering that the friend’s mom is about as uptight as they come. According to our straight friend Don, backdoor sex feels different because of the angle and tightness of the channel. To a guy on the receiving end, the penis stimulates his prostate gland, which can lead to an orgasm. This is not the case with a woman’s anatomy. Nonetheless, some women love the sensation, some hate it, and some are indifferent.
    Several people, gay and straight, have described the feeling of backdoor sex in three simple words: “pain, then pleasure.” It’s definitely uncomfortable at first, but once your muscles relax and you start moving, it feels great—and this comes from both straight women and gay men.
    Massaging the bottom will definitely help prepare you for backdoor sex by relaxing your muscles and stimulating the general area. If the guy wants it, then he should know this, and should be prepared to give you one fabulous body massage before going any further. The most important thing to remember if you’re going to try this is that, no matter what, you must add lubrication, because the parts don’t get wet by themselves.
    While he’s applying a condom and lubricant to himself, you can put a little K-Y jelly on your fingertips and gently apply it to the outer area, then put a dab or two inside. The guy should know how to do this for you, but you may want to do it yourself to make sure
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    you’re properly primed for backdoor action. The next key thing, and this is where a lot of straight guys seem to blow it, is that he must enter you very slowly, stop for a few seconds, and then continue. And, for whatever reason, practice does make it easier each time.
    Master Tung-hsuan went on to describe such exotic positions as the Winding Dragon, Bamboos by the Altar, and Phoenix Holding Its Chicken. We think these names are cute, but by adding a few new twists and angles to what you already know, you will become a most honored guest. One of our favorite position stories involves a friend we’ll call Margie, who had been lucky enough to have a string of steamy sexual encounters. Leaving the boudoir of her beau, Margie raced out ten minutes late to her