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I’ll have to convince them it’s not me up here.”
    With this, Selby put one foot out on the wire and the crowd roared.
    â€œWhere’s that bloomin’ two-humped camel?” Selby thought, putting another foot onto the wire and then another. “One more foot on the wire and there will be no turning back. I think I can, I think I can …”
    Fear gripped Selby’s head like a vice as his fourth foot stepped onto the wire and sweat began to drip from his chin.
    â€œI’ll show them,” he thought as he began his walk across the wire.
    Halfway across, Frieda motioned with her hands for him to stand on his hind legs.
    â€œYou’ve got to be kidding, lady,” Selby muttered to himself. “I was born with four legs and I’m going to use every one of them.”
    Just then Fred Ferguson jumped out on the wire and Selby lost his balance and dropped his balancing pole into the darkness below, narrowly missing a two-humped camel. He teetered back and forth on his hind legs as the audience screamed and Barnstorm Billy cried out, “Goody goody, he’s going to fall!”

    Then, with a sudden burst of energy born of terror, Selby dashed along the wire on his hind legs and leaped into Frieda’s waiting arms.
    On his way down in the basket the whole audience was on its feet cheering and stamping and Selby’s fear turned to pride. He stood on his hind legs and bowed to the roaring crowd.
    When he reached the ground he tore into the crowd to avoid the trainers and made his escape through a hole in the tent. As he passed Barnstorm Billy and the Trifles he heard Mrs Trifle say: “What a dog! What a brilliant and talented dog! He looks like Selby but he can’t be.”
    â€œI wouldn’t count on it,” Selby said when he was safely at home lying in front of the TV watching
The Lucky Millions Quiz Quest.
“I may not have paws of steel but I’ve got more talent in my big toe than Billy has in his whole body.”

Too Many Cooks
    In general, Selby liked his fellow dogs. But Aunt Jetty’s dog, Crusher, was nasty and pushy and — what was worse — was staying with the Trifles for the day.
    â€œYou’re probably not to blame,” Selby said to Crusher, knowing that Crusher didn’t understand any sort of people-talk or even dog-talk for that matter. “Anyone who lives in the same house as Aunt Jetty and her dreadful sons deserves a medal.”
    But within fifteen minutes, Crusher had pushed Selby out of the way and gobbled all his food and then chased him around the house nipping at his heels until Selby fell exhausted ina heap on the lounge-room carpet. To make matters worse, Crusher fell on top of him like a sack of potatoes.
    â€œAll right, all right,” Selby said. “Get up. You win. You’re the boss. Just go away and leave me in peace.”
    Crusher just lay there for a few minutes and when he did get up it was to give Selby another good chomp and then start chasing him around the house again.
    â€œStop it now, you two,” Dr Trifle said as he stood in the kitchen making Mrs Trifle’s favourite dessert, Marshmallow Cream Cake, as a special birthday surprise. “If you run around like that the cake will fall. You can play some more after I go out.”
    â€œCrumbs,” Selby thought as he curled up at the doctor’s feet. “Please don’t leave me alone with this savage. Stay here and protect me.”
    But soon the cake was finished and Dr Trifle put it on the kitchen counter next to an open window to cool. Then he left the house and the chase was on again.
    â€œHeeeeeeeellllp!” Selby screamed as he tore through the dining room for the twenty-seventhtime, his hind legs bruised black and blue from Crusher’s nipping. “Somebody help me, please! I can’t keep this up forever!”
    â€œI know what I’ll do,” Selby thought as he tore over the top of the