Read Wrong Side Of Dead for Free Online

loved.
    “May I ask
you
a personal question?” I said.
    His face went blank, and his hands pressed deeper into his pockets—as if he could make himself smaller and that would somehow lessen the impact of whatever I was about to ask. “Yes.”
    “Have you ever been in love?”
    Blue fire danced in his eyes. His nostrils flared and, just for an instant, I swore he looked ready to attack.Then his expression softened, grief tempering the fury. “Yes, I have. I was very much in love with my wife, Jolene.”
    Jolene. Wife. My insides ached for him. Tears tightened my throat, wanting to spill for a woman I hadn’t known. I swallowed hard, grasping for my voice. “She loved you?”
    “Yes.” He smiled, but though his expression was gentle, a hint of ferocity still lingered. “I’m ten years old, Evy. I have lived half my lifetime and loved well for three of those years. You’re twice as old as I, and all you’ve experienced is heartache and betrayal. It grieves me to know this.”
    “I’ve experienced love.”
    “The love of your teammates, yes. The love of a man who moved Heaven and Earth to bring you back to life, certainly. But have you ever loved with your whole heart? Offered it to someone with no expectations in return, because you loved him so deeply you could do nothing less?”
    Tears blurred my vision, and I blinked them away. The answer to Phin’s question was so easy, and I hated him for asking. Hated myself just as much for the answer. “No. No, I haven’t.”
    I’d wanted to with Wyatt. Wanted him to be the one I gave my heart to, and I knew he’d have accepted me with compassion, desire, and love. Before Thackery broke me. Before I told Wyatt the whole truth about how Felix got away the night he was infected.
    It didn’t matter anymore. I’d lived my entire life tormented by the stupid, storybook notion of true love, and I’d be damned if I’d mourn something I didn’t need. “People like me don’t get that one true love, Phin,” I said with more conviction in my voice than in my heart. “We get a few flings along the way to an early grave.”
    “Perhaps. But is that what you want, Evy?”
    “Does it matter?”
    “It matters to me.”
    “Why?”
    He blinked rapidly, as if my question surprised him. “Because I’ve seen your heart. You show it every day in the way you fight to protect those you care about. You have so much love hiding inside of you. Please don’t deny yourself the chance to share it.”
    Those damned tears were back, choking me. I fought them, unwilling to cry. There was too much to do and no time for an emotional breakdown. Still, I couldn’t let it go. “And what happens when I die again and break Wyatt’s heart for the third time?”
    “No one can predict the future, Evy, not even the wisest of mages. Lovers die and hearts break. Losing my wife was the worst agony I have ever endured, but even knowing our short time together, I’d gladly suffer it again. Because now, with time between us, I can think of her and remember the joy.”
    He pulled his hands from his pockets and cupped my cheek in his palm. His thumb brushed away a stray tear. The warm touch and sweet gesture undid me. I flung my arms around his shoulders and held on. Emotions churned and burned in my chest, but I couldn’t force out that first sob. The dam wouldn’t break.
    Phin held me close, solid muscle beneath skin as soft as air. His heart beat nearly twice as fast as mine—its natural pace. He had so many reasons to hate me. Over three hundred, to be perfectly frank. And yet he didn’t. It would be easier to hate myself if he wasn’t so forgiving of my worst sins.
    I pressed my cheek to his shoulder and just held on, waiting for the world to stop spinning out of control. Allowing my emotions time to right themselves once more, so I could step outside the infirmary and do myjob. The night was far from over. Depending on what we got from Felix, it may have only just begun.
    “Please,