the bathroom had me on my toes now, but what could it have been? Perhaps something I ate last night, or a stomach bug. I also haven’t had my period in two months… so could it be?
My phone rang which almost gave me a heart attack.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey Rachel, the shoot has been moved an hour later so don’t rush yourself,” said Charlie on the other end.
“Thanks for the heads up,” I thanked.
With my extra time I could double check and make sure that I was just being paranoid. I had missed periods before because of stress so it was probably that, not… a baby. My mind flashed back to when Shawn had come inside me a few months ago. I should check, just for my peace of mind. There’s no way, not while I was on the pill.
At the drug store, I bought a pregnancy test and then headed back home to find out the truth. Now the stick lay on the bathroom sink as I waited for the lines to appear for the final verdict.
“Oh no,” I muttered.
I double-checked the back of the box and the stick to make sure.
I was pregnant.
I was… pregnant.
What was I to do? It was Shawn’s kid… would they have his eyes? I shook my head, my career would be impossible while pregnant. However, I didn’t want to have an abortion… something told me I had to have this child. A whispering in the wind spoke into my ear. I needed to find him. I needed Shawn.
***
“I need to stop working, Charlie,” I said.
“What?” Charlie asked looking completely shocked.
“I need to stop working,” I repeated.
“What do you mean?!” he exclaimed. “I just got you a photoshoot with-“
“I can’t!” I said exasperated.
“Why?” he asked.
“I’m pregnant,” I admitted.
“Oh fuck no, Rachel.”
“I was on the pill,” I said attempting to soften the blow.
“No condom though?” Charlie sighed.
“Let my sex life remain private alright? What’s done is done and I’m not going to abort this kid,” I said sternly.
“Why not?” Charlie asked, “We were just about to break some new ground in your career.”
“I just… can’t Charlie. I can’t,” I sighed.
We sat in the car in silence.
“So I’ll cancel your schedule?” Charlie asked.
“Please,” I said.
“So this is it, then,” Charlie said.
“Yeah,” I replied.
“I don’t know when or if I’ll ever see you again,” he said sadly.
“Maybe I’ll try to come back.”
“Maybe?”
“Maybe.”
“You know, it’ll be near impossible after a pregnancy,” Charlie said.
“You think I don’t know?” I asked, a little insulted.
“No, I know you know… I just want to make sure that you’re making the right decision.”
“I am. I know I am.”
“Will the father be taking care of you?” Charlie asked.
“He doesn’t know yet.”
“Yet?”
“I’ll tell him,” I said, when I meet him I thought.
Charlie slowed down his car as we returned to my apartment building. He stopped short of the front door and shifted into park. “If you ever decide to work again, come see me,” Charlie said in a quiet voice. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” I admitted.
“It was nice working with you,” Charlie said with a smile.
“Same here.”
I exited the car with my backpack and headed back into my apartment. I needed to figure out how to find Shawn. First, however was lunch so I turned on the television and grabbed some ingredients out of the fridge. I started to chop up some onions and peppers as the news started.
“Next up: giant flying creature sighted over London by elderly man.”
I laughed. What ridiculousness were they airing on television nowadays? I started to fry the vegetables as I changed the channel.
“The minister has been missing for approximately two months now. He was last seen at a party at a hotel on the upper west side,” the television buzzed.
“Huh, was that the party I was at?” I muttered to myself. “That would be quite the coincidence.”
I began to chop up some meat. I thought