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uncomfortably on their horses, but Kirstin didn’t care. Gregor wouldn’t hurt her, at least she knew that much. For as much as he’d broken her heart, he’d only ever protected her in the past. She trusted him.
    Maybe that was enough.
    Nay! What was she thinking?
    Never again.
    When she’d returned to Skye nine years before, and gone through the pains of washing herself clean of him, of their sin. And when she’d mourned the loss of her heart, her soul, a life, she’d once more given herself fully to God. Vowed to love Him and him alone.
    There could be no place in her heart, or in her world, for Gregor.
    Donna still whimpered beside her, and Kirstin startled, having forgotten all about the lass for a moment. She squeezed her hand and whispered, “Come now, all is well. Soon ye can seek solace in the chapel and a bed.”
    “I could sleep for a week,” Donna said, her lower lip trembling.
    Why had Mother Superior sent Donna with Kirstin? The lass was naïve and fragile as glass.
    “I’m certain one night will do the trick,” Kirstin said. “And then ye can explore Melrose’s gardens. I’ve heard they are beautiful. Ye dabble in our gardens, do ye not?”
    “Aye, I think I should like that.” A smile touched her lips.
    They talked a little more on gardening, anything to keep Donna distracted, though Kirstin couldn’t keep her eyes off Gregor’s back.
    Thank goodness Donna was cheering up, no longer as frightened. Kirstin could really only deal with her own fears and worries at the moment, as uncharitable as that was. She’d just run smack into a nightmare from her past. Aye, losing her parents and sister in the attack had been harsh, but she and her sister had since been reunited. The guilt at being the cause of her cousin’s disappearance, too, weighed heavily on her.
    But, Gregor had taken so much more from her.
    For a brief moment, Kirstin’s hand came to her belly, rubbing where a life could have been before she jerked it away.
    They trotted down the road, two nuns surrounded by five Warriors of God and a dozen additional Highland warriors. Within the next few minutes, they’d be at Melrose Abbey, safe behind the stone walls.
    Why then, did Kirstin feel so rattled? So unsafe ?
    ’Twas nothing physical. Nay, she feared not for harm to her body, but what her mind was already doing, twisting and winding its way around her fortifications, like a snake trying to squeeze the breath from her, or her senses. Trying to erase the pain she felt, she grabbed hold of the good feelings of the past, the ones she wanted to repeat, but ultimately could not.
    Gregor’s fault.
    If she’d not come upon him now, she would never have considered…
    Considered what?
    Returning to a life of sin? She couldn’t. Not now. Not ever.
    It wouldn’t be a sin if they had married… Exactly what she’d thought would have happened. But he never asked. He used her and then discarded her.
    And how dare he look so keen to see her? So full of emotion she could barely breathe at the look of him?
    Oh, for the love of all that was holy! Why, oh why, did her mind play such games with her?
    Gregor had only ever cared about one thing, and it hadn’t been to make a life with her. That was not a life she wanted to lead.
    When they reached the abbey, before she spoke with the Abbot about his summons, Kirstin would go straight to confession. She would pray. She would accept her penance. Ask for guidance. Beg for direction. Plead for strength. For she needed it, because in just the few precious moments of their reconciliation, she’d been willing to forgo the past in search of a future.
    She would shore up her firm decision to never, ever, ever, let her heart be deceived again. Not by any man, and especially not by Gregor Buchanan.

 
    Chapter Five

     
    Though he sat on his horse tall, his face void of emotion, Gregor was solidly shaken.
    Kay—nay, Kirstin —was alive, well and sitting a horse just behind him.
    In a nun’s habit.
    If